| A Very Tanner Christmas | |
| Season 6, episode 12 | |
 | |
| Air date | December 15, 1992 |
| Writer(s) | Jay Abramowitz |
| Director | Joel Zwick |
| Previous | Designing Mothers |
| Next | The Dating Game |
A Very Tanner Christmas is episode twelve of season six on Full House. It originally aired on December 15, 1992.
While Jesse hangs up the family's stockings on the mantle, Michelle has an issue with hers (see #Quotes).
Synopsis
At Christmastime, Becky tells Jesse that she misses the times when it snowed during the holidays every year in Nebraska when she was a kid. So he cheers her up, or at least tries to, by spraying some fake snow and ice on the window of the back door so she can get that feeling of a white Christmas. Steve tells D.J. that he has been accepted to Daytona Beach University in Florida. She is not as excited about it as he is because Florida is about 3,000 miles away from San Francisco. While he assures her they can still call and write to each other, except during holidays (like Christmas), it is not exactly the same and provides no comfort to her. Meanwhile, Michelle and Stephanie get wrapped up (no pun intended) in the materialism and consumerism of Christmas; so much so that Jesse feels they may have forgotten what the season is really all about.
On Christmas Day, Danny is depressed that he can't see Vicky because she is covering elections in Sweden. Steve comes over so that he and D.J. can exchange gifts. Her gift to him is an expensive jacket that he has had his eyes on, and his gift to her is a Daytona Beach University sweatshirt. She feels that his gift to her is an insult to injury, so she runs to her room. When he goes upstairs, she lets him know how she feels about him going to college so far away, and he asks her if she bought the jacket to bribe him into staying, and angrily walks out.
After the younger girls received their presents, Jesse tries to cure their gift preoccupation by taking them to a shelter for the homeless. There, they help out and discover that there is also joy in giving at Christmas (as the old proverb says, "'Tis better to give than to receive" [see Trivia]). Stephanie apologizes for her and Michelle getting caught up in the receiving of presents. Then, Jesse tells them that he was once that way as a kid until his dad took him down to the Salvation Army. He tells them that he never forgot that feeling of helping others, and he never wants them to forget that feeling either.
All D.J. can talk about during the Christmas party at home is Steve. Danny soon figures out that D.J. really bought the jacket for Steve because she tried to bribe him to stay and talk to her. Santa Claus shows up at the party; then a second Santa shows up and lays a kiss on Danny – as it is Vicky in disguise. She was able to make it to the party after all.
Joey, also disguised as Santa, enters the room. Seeing that Santa #1 is not Joey, D.J. removes Santa #1's beard and sees that Santa #1 is Steve in disguise, meaning Joey is indeed Santa #3. Steve apologizes to D.J. and admits that he was so pumped up about going to college that he didn't stop to think about how it would make her feel if he went to a college so far away. D.J. also apologizes to Steve for being selfish and not really thinking about his opinions. However, he decides to stay in San Francisco for junior college instead of going to Florida for it, so as to improve his grades.
Jesse has a surprise for his wife in the backyard: he made a blanket of snow covering the yard, complete with a snowman. It turns out that Jesse has a friend who makes snow cones, and Jesse had him bring over enough to fill 17,000 cones and spread it around the backyard. Everyone else joins in the festivities by having a snowball fight (as a vocal version of "Winter Wonderland" plays in the background, and the EP credits appear, followed by a special holiday ending).
Special Holiday Ending
The last scene freezes to reveal the message "Full House Wishes You A Joyous Holiday Season", made to resemble a Christmas card.
Quotes
[The opening teaser: In the living room, Jesse is busy hanging up the family's stockings on the mantle.]
Jesse: Okay, we got Nicky, Alex, D.J., Stephanie, and Santa's favorite little helper, Michelle.
Michelle: Jesse, I got a problem.
Jesse: Lay it on me, babe.
Michelle: I don't know about that [her] stocking.
Jesse: What's the matter with this stocking? It's a beautiful stocking. Look at it, it says 'Michelle'. It's a great stocking.
Michelle: It's okay, but this would be better [reaches behind her and brings out a huge "stocking" made from a big red plastic gift bag, bearing a big white "M" on it (as shown in infobox photo)].
Jesse: Whose stocking is this? Bigfoot's?
Michelle: What can I say? I've been very good this year!
[He runs over, tickles her, and gives her a big kiss on the cheek.]
[In the kitchen, Jesse is spraying the back door window panes with snow-spray.]
Jesse: [singing] 'Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to...' [Becky comes downstairs.] Oh, Becky. It's snowing outside. Quick. Grab your galoshes. Get a shovel. I think we're snowed in. Brrrr. I'm freezing.
Becky: Let me break it to you gently, Mr. California. [pointing] This is not snow. This is gunk [taking the can from him] from a can.
Jesse: Well, what do you say we go outside and build Frosty the Gunk-man?
Becky: No, it's not the same. It's no use, honey. I'll never get used to Christmas without snow.
Jesse: That's okay, honey. I never thought I'd get used to Elvis without sideburns.
Becky: When did he not have sideburns?
Jesse: '61 through '68! I remember my preschool years: living hell. [Elvis voice:] Come on, 'Cilla [Priscilla]. [picks up the can] I think the living room could do with some hunk-a hunk-a snowy gunk.
[They walk into the living room...]
[...just as D.J. and Steve walk in through the back door.]
D.J.: Steve! Tell me already: What's the big surprise?
Steve: Okay, Deej, I'll tell you. The greatest thing just happened to me.
D.J.: You inherited a Dunkin' Donuts shop?
Steve: That would be great... No, I got accepted to college.
D.J.: Steve, congratulations! [She kisses him.] What school?
Steve: It's in Florida. Daytona Beach University. And I double-checked: they actually saw my grades.
D.J.: Really? Florida? All the way over by that other ocean [the Atlantic, in fact].
[While the adults get their new tree ready for trimming, the younger girls are anxious for the big day and whatever they wished for.]
Michelle: I hope Santa brings me that new Barbie doll.
Stephanie: Michelle, Michelle, Michelle. You don't just ask Santa for a Barbie doll.
Michelle: I know that. That's why I asked for a hula hoop and a doll's house. And another hula hoop in case the other one gets lost.
Stephanie: Now you got it! [to the guys] And in case the "big guy" forgets anything, I've taken the trouble in my never-ending quest to make your holiday shopping more pleasurable. [She hands out some sheets of paper to them.]
Danny: That's very considerate of you, Steph. You even added a color-coded map of the mall.
Jesse: Girls, brace yourselves, but there's more to Christmas than presents.
Stephanie: That's true. You could also return them for cash.
[All the presents have been opened.]
Michelle: That's it? No more presents?
Stephanie: Didn't a certain uncle promise us a perfect gift?
Both: Hmmm?
Jesse: Yes, he did.
Stephanie & Michelle: Yay!
Jesse: But it's not here... [Both girls groan.] ...because it's too big.
Stephanie & Michelle: Yay!
Michelle: If it's an elephant, I'll call him Phil.
Danny: Sweetheart, if it's an elephant, it'll sleep in Joey's room. No, Uncle Jesse has something planned to show you the real meaning of Christmas.
Stephanie: All right! We're going to Toys R Us!
Jesse: Wrong R U [Wrong are you].
Michelle: We won't miss the Christmas party, will we?
Joey: Oh, you'll be back in plenty of time to see me play Santa. I think I'm going to try a new 'Ho, ho, ho' this year. How about Jerry Lewis? 'Ho, ho, ho, lady! Fly-man!'
[Nobody laughs apart from Nicky and Alex.]
Stephanie: Uncle Jesse took us down to the shelter for homeless people.
Danny: I know. What’d you think?
Stephanie: There were so many people there. Not just grown-ups—kids, too.
Michelle: When I saw them, it made me feel sad.
Jesse: It’s okay to feel sad, Michelle. Those people are in a lot of trouble.
Stephanie: I’m sorry we went so present-crazy.
Jesse: Ah, it’s okay. I remember when I was your age. I bugged my dad for an Evel Knievel jumpsuit.
Stephanie: Why?
Jesse: Oh, because I already had the helmet. Anyway, he took me down to the Salvation Army, and I’ll tell you something: it made me feel so good to see you guys’ faces today because that’s exactly how I felt. And I never forgot that feeling. And I never want you guys to forget that feeling, okay? Merry Christmas, girls.
Michelle: Thanks for our Christmas present, Uncle Jesse.
[After "Santa #2" is revealed to be Vicky, "Santa #3" enters the living room from the back.]
Santa #3: Ho, ho, ho ...or as Daffy Duck would say [Daffy voice]: 'Ho, ho, ho, all you wonderful Thhhhhan Franthhhiscans.' [...] [looking at "Santa #1"] Well, well, well, it seems as though there's an impothhhhhter amongst us.
D.J.: Wait. If that's Joey, then who are you? [pulls down "Santa #1's" beard] Steve!
Joey: Thhhhhum Thhhhanta Claus.
Steve: [wipes spit off his face and takes off the fake glasses] Deej, I'm really sorry, but this is the only way I could get you to talk to me.
D.J.: Why didn't you tell me it was you?
Steve: Well, Santa never interrupts an apology.
D.J.: Well, I'm really sorry.
Steve: Yeah, me too. I got so pumped up about getting into college, I didn't even think about your feelings.
D.J.: No, you were right. We'll make this work no matter how far apart we are.
Steve: Well, we're not going to be far apart. I'm going to stay in town and go to junior college. Then maybe I can get into a really good school.
D.J.: Oh, Steve, I love you.
Steve: I love you, too. [They kiss (as shown in GIF), as everyone takes notice].
Everyone in the room: Aw!
Trivia
- The episode title is a play on A Very Brady Christmas, a very popular 1988 Brady Bunch TV movie
- The third episode to have the teaser tied to the main plot itself (the first two were "13 Candles" in season three, and then "Greek Week", the season four premiere)
- The second of three Christmas episodes
- The phrase "'Tis better to give than to receive" comes from Acts 20:35 (in the Bible), which quotes Jesus as saying "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (which is talking about giving to the less fortunate: money, clothes, food)
- Steve saying "If the jacket fits, wear it" is a take on "If the shoe fits, wear it"
- At the time of this episode, ABC was airing "Season's Greetings" promos featuring each of their show's casts, including Full House[1]
- Songs:
- As the episode opens: The first few notes of "Jingle Bells" (instrumental, then sung by Jesse as he sprays "ice" and "snow" on the back door to make it more "Christmasy" and "wintery")
- "Christmas Day":
- The first few notes of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" (instrumental), as the family opens their gifts
- "Deck the Halls", as Joey takes the twins on a "sleigh ride" and then instrumental as D.J. talks with the wrestling team
- "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" (instrumental), during the Christmas party
- "The First Noel" (instrumental), as Santas #1 (Steve) and #2 (Vicky) arrive
- "O Christmas Tree" (instrumental), as Santa #3 (Joey) arrives
- "Winter Wonderland" (vocal, but not by the cast), as Jesse shows Becky her gift of a snowman
- "Jingle Bells" (instrumental) again as the greeting text appears