|Breaking Up is Hard To Do (in 22 Minutes)|
|Season 3, episode 3|
|Air date||October 6, 1989|
|Previous||Back to School Blues|
|Next||Nerd for a Day|
After enduring a rough horseback riding excursion with Becky in which he gets bucked off his horse and thrown in the mud, a frustrated Jesse refuses to participate in any future visits to the stable, not even on a little pony. Angry that he isn't willing to take part in more things that she enjoys, Becky breaks even by skipping Jesse's music rehearsal.
That leads to a heated argument between Jesse and Becky, and the argument leads to a break-up between them. Upon hearing the news of their breakup, D.J. – who has formed a strong bond with Becky – teams up with Stephanie to try to get Jesse and Becky back together.
Jesse starts dating a woman named Diane, and Jesse constantly talks about Becky on his date with Diane, because he regrets the break-up. Jesse brings Diane home with him, and Diane looks at Becky and says, "If you're not Becky, you're going to hear a lot about her." Touched by that, Becky realizes that she also regrets the break-up, so she and Jesse work things out and decide to stay together, and she even has a talk with D.J. about it before committing.
Meanwhile, Stephanie is elated when she finally loses her tooth, and "Tooth Fairy" Danny mistakenly leaves Stephanie a $20 bill under her pillow when, in the darkness of night, he thought he had pulled a $1 bill out of his wallet. In addition, Stephanie is even more elated when she tells D.J. that, with an empty milk glass and an empty plate of cookie crumbs next to her bed, she knew that her sweet tooth would pay off (see Quotes).
While D.J. is elated about that, she's more elated about jumping her first fence with Rocket; but it eventually leads to a misunderstanding: Stephanie says that Rocket jumped the fence (and not D.J.) while D.J. says that Stephanie's gums lost the tooth that fell out of her mouth (and not Stephanie herself).
Also, Danny and the guys try to teach Michelle how to share during play dates with her friends, but that fails. So it is up to the entire family to teach her about sharing when they have pancakes for breakfast. However, instead of taking one pancake and putting it on their plate before passing the stack to the next person, they take just one pancake from the stack – the top one, in fact – and pass the same one around to demonstrate. In order: Danny, Joey, D.J., Stephanie, Jesse, and Michelle. When it gets right back around to Michelle, she seems to finally get the knack and shares the pancake with Danny, despite the fact that it is now in pieces; so much so, he remarks that he will not even have to chew it. She also learns a valuable lesson in realizing she shouldn't be so greedy as she was during her play date.
[The opening teaser: In the living room playing with the toy basketball set...]
Danny: [in a play-by-play style similar to that of his old sportscaster gig] Tanner yo-yo's the dribble. He fakes left, he drives right, he puts Michelle in the popcorn machine and he jams it right over 2 feet, 8 inches of towering toddler! [He puts it through the basket.]
Michelle: My turn.
Danny: Okay [gives her the ball]. Here we go [puts her in position]. It's Tanner versus Tanner, for all the marbles. Michelle breaks for the basket and goes... right through my legs. Okay [picks her up]. She's going for that super-duper, high-flying, baby-skying junior, junior slama jama. Talk about serious hang time. [She dunks it.] Michelle scores! In your face.
Michelle: In your face.
Danny: 'NBA action: It's...
Michelle: Fantastic!' (see Trivia)
[In the kitchen, D.J. is wiping off the table after dinner as Stephanie enters... with a little something on her mind.]
Stephanie: D.J., I've been thinking.
Stephanie: Santa Claus works one night a year and always gets milk and cookies. The tooth fairy works every night and all she gets is a sack full of old teeth.
D.J.: If there's a point to this, please get to it.
Stephanie: The point is I'm leaving the tooth fairy milk and cookies. Don't try to stop me, I've made up my mind. End of story. Case closed. Goodnight and good luck. [She goes upstairs with the goodies.]
D.J.: So young and yet so strange.
[As soon as those words leave her mouth, Becky comes in from the back.]
Becky: Hey, Deej.
D.J.: Hi, Becky. Do you think we can go riding next week?
Becky: Sure. Deej, you were amazing today. When did you decide to jump that fence?
D.J.: Well, when the horse was about halfway over. I figured, as long as I'm up here, I might as well go for it.
[In the morning, Stephanie's alarm clock goes off. Next to it are an empty glass and an empty plate which appears to have cookie crumbs all over it.]
Stephanie: [shutting off the alarm] All right! It's morning. I've been waiting all night for this.
D.J.: Stephanie, it's Saturday.
Stephanie: It's also Tooth Fairy day!
[Stephanie lifts up her pillow and finds money under it.]
Stephanie: Whoa, baby!
D.J.: You're 'whoa-babying' about a dollar bill?
Stephanie: [shows the bill to her sister] Does this look like a dollar bill?
D.J.: Twenty dollars?! WHOA, BABY!
Stephanie: I knew those milk and cookies would pay off. [She starts to go out the door...]
D.J.: You nerd-bomber, I ate the milk and cookies.
Stephanie: [stops in her tracks and gasps...] You're in trouble this Christmas. The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus are like this [crossing her first two fingers].
- The episode title is taken from the 1962 number-one hit song by Neil Sedaka, "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do"
- The title also contains the running time of the episode (excluding commercials)
- The opening scene ends with Danny and Michelle saying "NBA action: It's Fantastic!", which at the time was the slogan for the NBA
- The second episode in which Jesse and Rebecca break up (the first is in "Luck Be a Lady (Part 1)")
- Stephanie says, "Goodnight, and good luck", which was what Edward R. Murrow, famous news reporter, ended all of his radio broadcasts with (beginning during World War II)
- Jesse asks, "When's the last time you saw Mister Ed play in front of 50,000 screaming fans?" referring to the character in the sitcom of the same name about a talking horse (1961–1966)