|Bye, Bye Birdie|
|Season 3, episode 16|
|Air date||February 2, 1990|
|Previous||Lust in the Dust|
In Michelle's room, Danny and Joey decide to measure her and see how much she has grown. To ensure the measurement is accurate, they check to make sure that she is not "cheating" (i.e. no standing on her tip-toes). After she stands normally with her arms down and flat on her feet, they discover that she has grown a ½ inch. She can only muster out "big deal", and just walks out of her room.
It is Michelle's first day of preschool, a day that she has highly anticipated. So much so, when she goes to sleep the night before, the grown-ups make up a bedtime story in the style of a fairy tale, which basically is a dream where they all are her size, all are dressed up in kids' clothing, and she is dressed as a princess and hopes they become her friends and that the first day is a dream come true. However, it does not exactly go as planned, and the dream come true becomes somewhat of a nightmare for her and she is afraid it will not end "happily ever after".
When Michelle dresses herself in the morning, she unknowingly puts her dress on backwards, which D.J. notices immediately (see Quotes). At preschool, Michelle tries to get Dave, the class's pet bird, to join them in storytime by opening the cage, but he escapes out the open window. She is very sad and even after apologizing to everyone, she says that she is bad, and Aaron agrees.
At home, Michelle puts out slices of bread in the backyard to try and lure the bird back, but he is long gone. Already realizing that, Danny and Jesse go to buy another parrot as a replacement instead – whose name is Sammy. The next morning, Michelle takes the new bird to preschool (shown in the infobox photo).
Meanwhile, Stephanie is very curious as to why D.J. is heading off to school early. And her inkling is that maybe she is meeting someone, but D.J. just wants her little sister to stop being so nosy about her personal life (see Quotes).
Stephanie wants to read D.J.'s diary, despite a warning note on the cover that is a threat to banish her to the backyard if she does. However, she does not heed the warning. But when she tries to open it without the key, Stephanie unintentionally breaks the lock that holds the diary closed. And when she tries to glue it back, she ends up accidentally gluing her hand to the diary's cover. Finally, after some help from Joey, she is able to get her hand off. She initially claims that Michelle stole it, but after Joey clears his throat, she comes clean. However, she still has to deal with and suffer the consequences of her actions, per her older sister, who lectures her regarding breaking the rules (which she implemented in the series premiere). D.J. asks Stephanie to sit down and listen to her. She wants to know why is she is always snooping in her stuff. The answer is that Stephanie is fascinated by her, to which she is flattered, but says that she needs to have her privacy (see Quotes).
[The grownups get Michelle ready for bed the night before her first day of preschool. To make it better, they all make up a bedtime story for her.]
Joey: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little princess who went to Meadow Crest Preschool for the very first time. And can you guess the name of the princess?
Michelle: Miss Piggy.
Joey: No, Princess Michelle. And when Princess Michelle opened the door she saw...
Becky: A magic land of fun. It was like Disneyland in a nap. And Princess Michelle made lots of new friends, and they all played with their toys, and then...
Jesse: [noticing the pointing fingers means he's next] Oh. Uh, uh, and then, uh, and then they played with their toys some more. And then...
Danny: And then they all cleaned up the mess they made. And then, Princess Michelle said, 'My first day of preschool was the most wonderful day of my life.'
Danny: Alright, Miss One-Night-Away-from-Preschool, into bed. [They all give her their good night kisses and let her settle in for some shuteye.]
[D.J. is about to head off to school, but her sister wants answers, so she blocks D.J.'s exit.]
Stephanie: D.J.! D.J.! D.J.! Why are you going off to school so early?
D.J.: Because I am.
Stephanie: What kind of answer is that?
D.J.: It's the kind of answer you get when I don't wanna tell you something.
Stephanie: Are you meeting someone? Is it Kevin? Is it Kathy? Is it Kimmy? Is it anyone whose name starts with a 'K'?
D.J.: Here's something that starts with a 'K': Keep your nose out of my business.
Stephanie: I gotta say it: How rude! [She heads back upstairs.]
[In the kitchen, Michelle is trying to make her own brown-bag lunch, but she uses a large grocery bag. Out of the fridge, she gets a small roasted chicken, a head of lettuce, two tomatoes, and a tub of butter.]
D.J.: [enters and closes the door behind her] Michelle, what are you doing?
Michelle: Making lunch for preschool. [She continues dropping the food into the bag, one at a time.]
D.J.: [puts her backpack down] Michelle, come here. Let me take a look at you. [She spins her around.] Michelle... your dress is on backwards! Did you dress yourself this morning?
Michelle: Yes, I did.
D.J.: And did you look in the mirror?
Michelle: Yes, I did.
D.J.: And did you think you looked good?
Michelle: Yes, I did.
D.J.: Well, here's a little fashion tip: walk backwards, and maybe no one will notice.
Michelle: That's easy. [She does just that, dragging her 'lunch' with her as she heads off to school.] See you later.
D.J.: Michelle! [And she follows her.]
[In their room, Stephanie is on a mission, as Comet sits on her bed.]
Stephanie: You know, Comet, our friend D.J. is up to something. Let's take a stroll over to her secret hiding place [her bed], and take a peek into her diary, just for fun. [She locates it under the pillow of D.J.'s bed...] Aha! [...and pulls it out.] Hey! There's a note on here. [reading the note] 'Dear Stephanie: If you read my diary, this room will be all mine because you will be living in the backyard.' Ooh, there must be something really juicy in here! I'll just get the key from under Melvin's hat. [And she climbs onto her sister's bed, and is able to get Melvin down from the shelf above. But when she takes his hat off...] Hey! It's gone.
[After Joey leaves the girls' room, D.J. decides now is the time to lecture her roommate regarding her snooping, and she asks her to...]
D.J.: Sit. [And Stephanie does so on the toy box.] I am not gonna yell at you. I am just going to talk in a very firm voice for a very long time. Now, why are you always snooping around in my stuff?
Stephanie: I can't help it. You fascinate me.
D.J.: Listen, you have no business being in my... I fascinate you [smiles]?
Stephanie: Of course you do! You go to school dances, you have seven teachers in the same day [as JH (middle school) students do], and you carry a purse. You're a woman of the world.
D.J.: True. But I still need my privacy. Tell you what, if you really promise my diary is off-limits, I'll try to tell you more about my fascinating life.
Stephanie: I promise. [hugs her] Forgive me?
D.J.: [pats her on the head] I guess so. Besides, I keep my really hot stories in my journal.
Stephanie: [gasps and widens her eyes] You have a journal?! Where is it? What does it look like?... [But her sister doesn't answer.]
- The third of six episodes to use the extended theme song
- The episode title comes from a 1960 Tony Award-winning Broadway musical of the same name (also a 1963 movie)
- Miko Hughes makes his first series appearance as three-year-old classroom bully Aaron Bailey
- Goof: When Michelle is at preschool waiting with Sammy, you can see that her ponytail changes from the top of her head to the side of her head several times throughout the scene