|Season 5, episode 16|
|Air date||January 14, 1992|
|Writer(s)||Diana "Jennie" Ayers & Susan Sebastian|
|Previous||Play It Again, Jesse|
Becky and Michelle are putting the finishing touches on Stephanie's birthday cake, and it appears to be chocolate, frosting and all. As always, whenever she helps out with baking, Michelle is anxious to lick the spatula, but Becky says she'll have to wait until they're done. Once they are done, Michelle wipes the spatula on the cake and licks it, taking lots of frosting with her.
The episode starts with Jesse and Becky in the kitchen taking care of Nicky and Alex, with Michelle watching from the table. Joey comes in and tries to make them laugh, but to no avail. Michelle tries it herself but also fails (as the twins are tired), so she asks Joey to teach her how to do comedy.
Meanwhile, when Stephanie hears that Tommy Page, her favorite singer, is scheduled to be a guest on Wake Up, San Francisco, she begs Danny to accompany him to the taping and even invite Tommy to her 10th birthday party, but Danny refuses. What Danny does not want Stephanie to know is that he has arranged for Tommy to be at the party, but he wants it to be a surprise.
After Stephanie's party begins, Danny brings Tommy home with him, and she is shocked. In addition, Kimmy shows up uninvited, and asks Tommy to autograph her shoe. Like always, once she takes it off, the odor freaks everyone out, leading Danny and Joey to forcefully escort her out. With that out of the way, Stephanie asks Tommy to sign her CD, which he does with "Love, Tommy". This causes her to swoon into an ecstatic faint, and D.J. has to escort her to the recliner to rest.
A day or two after the party, Stephanie is so starstruck that she immediately begins imagining herself as Mrs. Tommy Page, but then she is devastated when she sees Tommy and D.J. kissing, and D.J. exclaiming an exciting and fist-pumping "Yes!" when she finds out she likes him. Stephanie angrily declares war on D.J. for that. Not long after, she storms upstairs to her room in tears. Later, she has a heart-to-heart with Becky about what to do when a man is stolen by another woman and vice-versa.
As this goes on, with a little help, Michelle is able to successfully make the twins laugh. As Joey declares her a graduate of his "clown college", he asks her to top it off with the "pie-in-the-face" gag, and she does so.
After the heart-to-heart with Becky, and as part of her plan to declare war on D.J., Stephanie brings down a box of photos to the studio for Tommy to look at, mostly those of the party, as well as D.J. herself and her own 10th birthday party. After three embarrassing childhood photos of D.J. (namely, her first encounter with the mumps, first bath, and first rash), D.J. herself has had enough and brings Stephanie back up to the kitchen to chat with her, which quickly escalates when she accuses her older sister of "stealing" Tommy. When Stephanie finds a picture that she took of D.J. drooling in her sleep, this causes tensions to rise, Stephanie to put the photo box down on the table and make a break for it, and D.J. to chase her younger sister out of the kitchen, into the living room, and back around into the kitchen (through the laundry room side), with Jesse not too far behind. Joey and Danny walk downstairs when they see this, and join in the chase and follow Jesse and the girls back into the kitchen and all the guys bring the chase to a stop before it can even start a second round. After Joey stops Stephanie and Danny stops D.J., Jesse immediately snatches the photo out of Stephanie's hand, and a sibling battle ensues, followed by a surprise revelation and an important life lesson: It turns out that Tommy wants to be friends with both Stephanie and D.J., much to D.J.’s shock and disappointment after the two hours she spent out with him earlier. The guys then clarify to Stephanie was she's really going through (see Quotes).
In her former room, D.J. later confesses to Stephanie that she thought Tommy liked her as a girlfriend, and Stephanie remarks that at least D.J. was not making wedding invitations. They give their "sisters forever" promise and hug. As she leaves her former room, D.J. tells her former roommate to give her embarrassing childhood photos back, along with the negatives to boot. Stephanie says that she will definitely give the photos back, but they will have to negotiate and make a deal on the negatives. D.J. exits, leaving Stephanie alone in what is still her room, as she turns on her boombox and hears the special song Tommy wrote for her.
Tommy Page (1970 – 2017) was a singer, known for his 1990 hit single, "I'll Be Your Everything", and later became a publisher of Billboard Magazine. On March 3, 2017, he was found dead of an apparent suicide.
[D.J. and Stephanie make their way upstairs to the kitchen, where their argument escalates and causes tensions to rise.]
D.J.: Stephanie, how could you do this to me?!
Stephanie: What about what you did to me, you backstabbing boyfriend-stealing traitor?!
D.J.: What?! You thought Tommy was your boyfriend? You're dreaming!
Stephanie: He was too my boyfriend!
Jesse: [arrives to break up the fight] All right, girls.
Stephanie: And he's gonna dump you and come back to me after he finds out you drool in your sleep.
D.J.: I do not!
Stephanie: Yes, you do and I have the picture to prove it.
Jesse: [as D.J. tries to grab the picture from her] Girls!
D.J.: Where did you get that?!
Stephanie: You didn't know I took this, did you? I knew it would come in handy. [She makes a break for it with the photo, and her sister doesn't hesitate to give chase, as Jesse also runs after them.]
D.J.: Give me that, you little worm!
Jesse: All right... Girls. Girls!
[The action goes from the kitchen to the living room, with D.J. chasing Stephanie, and Jesse following close behind to try to stop them. Danny and Joey are coming downstairs when they see this.]
Joey: What's this all about?
Danny: I don't know, but there they go. [They too join in the chase.]
Jesse: [as he finally brings the chase to a stop and snatches the Polaroid out of Stephanie's hand] Gimme that! [to Danny] Next time you bring a big star home, try Angela Lansbury!
[The guys clarify Steph's situation for her.]
Danny: Look, Steph, I know you feel really strongly about this, and I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I don't think this is really love. I think it's just a crush.
Jesse: Steph, your dad's right. You know, when it's really love, your heart starts pounding, and your toes curl, and you start sweating, and...[Danny stares at him, which forces him to stop.] Well, this isn't it.
Joey: Hey, Steph, look, we all know what you're going through, okay? And sometimes you wish for something so badly that you start believing it's true.
D.J.'s baby photos, including the one of her first bath, is a reference to the silly stunt that the guys were going to pull off in "13 Candles" (3.17).
This episode is the basis for the Full House book Kiss a Frog, Princess (in which Tommy Page is referred to as Tommy Weaver).