|Girls Will Be Boys|
|Season 5, episode 24|
|Air date||April 28, 1992|
|Writer(s)||Tom Burkhard & Stacey Hur|
|Previous||Five's a Crowd|
|Next||Captain Video (Part 1)|
At lunchtime, Danny and Michelle are having spaghetti for lunch (or what she calls "pasghetti"). She first eats it with her fork, but when she notices it dangling, she (like most kids) tries eating it with her hand, so her dad teaches her a "much neater" way to eat it: pick up some pasta with the fork, and using the "spaghetti helper" (spoon) spin it around until it becomes a pasta ball. She tries it, which, unfortunately, results in too much pasta on her fork. This leads Danny to remark, "Next time, I'm making Spaghetti-O's." He asks her to finish up, and then he's cleaning her up (with a bath, of course).
Aaron Bailey convinces Teddy to not play with girls anymore. As a result, Teddy no longer wants to be Michelle's friend. So, in order to win Teddy back, she tries to look like and act like a boy, but she does not get the expected results. When Becky sees what's going on with them, she mentions that she was a tomboy growing up, and Danny jokingly says that one Halloween, he wanted to be Julie Andrews.
Meanwhile, while Stephanie is listening in on a phone conversation between D.J. and Kimmy, Stephanie accidentally lets on that she is eavesdropping with her constant bubble gum popping. As a result, D.J. says that she will get revenge on Stephanie for meddling in her private life, and that Stephanie will not know how it will happen—or when—or even where. However, one clue is that D.J. won't need Kimmy's mom's stun gun. That causes Stephanie to be paranoid and tense enough to watch D.J.'s every move. As soon as D.J. gets off the phone, she offers to allow Stephanie to play a new game that she got for her computer.
Later, when D.J. bakes up a homemade double-chocolate fudge brownie to make up, Stephanie throws it out, thinking that her former roommate is trying to poison her. When she tells D.J. what she really heard, D.J. is shocked that Stephanie knew all about her so-called "evil plot", and the Stephanie suggests it'll take more than a brownie to do her in. D.J. says she already did her in, and that making up the revenge stuff will ensure that Stephanie has learned, or will learn, her lesson. Though if eavesdropping on the phone chat wasn't bad enough, Stephanie promises to read about it in the diary, which proves she (still) hasn't learned, nor will she learn, her lesson.
Also, after Joey talks with his boss, Jesse reluctantly accepts an offer to appear on Ranger Joe as "Lumberjack Jess", and Michelle learns from him and asks a burning question on many kids' minds about this (see Quotes).
Upstairs, the three kids are playing with guns, and Teddy pretends to be "injured" from the "battle". Michelle decides to tend to him as a "nurse's aide". Aaron does not find that to be true, but Michelle assures him that guys can be nurses too. Aaron decides that Michelle is not a "real" boy, and asks Teddy to leave her room with him. As they do so, she tells Danny that she is a "crummy" boy (eliciting groans from the audience).
Danny figures out (as the inspirational music plays) what is really going on, and Teddy decides that he still wants to be Michelle's friend, as he reveals to her that Aaron was being too bossy. Michelle also befriends a girl named Denise Frazer. Danny realizes that Teddy is going through a stage, just like Michelle did when she was growing up. He opens up and realizes that every person goes through stages in life, and everyone in the family is not an exception, as each of them has gone through stages in life, too. She realizes that, just like D.J. and Stephanie, boys will like her more and play with her more, and even date her once she reaches the stages that D.J. has reached and Stephanie will eventually reach. He reminds her of who she really is—sweet, funny, friendly, kind, terrific, and, above all, the one-and-only Michelle Tanner.
Kids: [singing with Joey] Oh, he chucks all the wood that a woodchuck could if a woodchuck could chuck...
Joey: Big finish!
Mr. Woodchuck: [singing] Wood!
[Becky and Danny both come home from another Wake Up, San Francisco, though Becky can't believe what her husband is doing with their twins.]
Becky: Hi, honey.
Jesse: Check this out. I just taught the boys how to play 'catch'.
Becky: Honey, how could learn to play 'catch'? They've just learned how to dribble.
Jesse: Our kids are natural athletes, so you watch this, okay? Look alive, guys! Here's the wind-up, and the pitch...[...and he throws two sticky-balls at their bibs, and the balls stick!] It's a Nicky-Alex double play! Alright! High-five, guys!
[The phone rings, and as Danny picks it up, D.J. rushes in and snatches it out of his hand.]
D.J.: It's for me! Hi, Kimmy.
Danny: D.J., why doesn't Kimmy call you on your own phone?
D.J.: I just left her house. She'd know I wouldn't be upstairs yet. [to Kimmy] You'll never guess what I... [Her dad is still sitting on the couch, looking at her.] Can I have some privacy, please?
Danny: Oh, sure. I'll just go hide in the hamper for a while.
D.J.: Thanks, Dad.
Danny: No problem. [He leaves.]
[But she'll also be hearing from her sister, who is overhearing the chat on the kitchen phone.]
[After Jesse shows his 'manly' side in preparation for his new role, Michelle asks the burning question...]
Michelle: What makes boys different than girls?
Jesse: Well, take the birds and the bees...
Joey: ...and the flowers.
Jesse: Yeah, and the flowers. [to Joey] Why don't you tell her?
Joey: Well Michelle, you know, a question like that can only be answered by a 'manly man' [pointing to Jesse, whose looks suggest otherwise despite being 'manly' himself]. Take it, Jess! [He exits.]
Jesse: Alright, so what you're asking is, 'what's the difference between boys and girls', right?
Michelle: That's the question. What's the answer?
Jesse: Well, there's a lot of differences: boys get to lead when they dance. Oh, boys can grow little mustaches. Oh, and at concerts and ball games, the men's line at the restroom is so much shorter.
Michelle: Being a boy sounds like fun!
Jesse: Does that answer your question?
Michelle: Yes it does.
This is the first appearance of Michelle's friend, Denise Frazer, who would make eleven appearances in seasons five through seven.
The song the kids sing on "Ranger Joe" (see Quotes) is based off a famous tongue-twister.