|Goodbye Mr. Bear|
|Season 2, episode 18|
|Air date||March 24, 1989|
|Writer(s)||Jeff Franklin & Kim Weiskopf|
|Previous||El Problema Grande de D.J.|
|Next||Blast From the Past|
In her room, to the tune of "Music Box Dancer" (appropriately on a music box), Michelle repeatedly sings "Baby, baby, baby". As Jesse comes into her room, he chuckles at her singing and she asks him to give it a try. He doesn't fare well but encourages her to keep singing.
It is time for the annual spring-cleaning, which is one of Danny's favorite times of the year. His motto is "Clean good, dirt bad", something he taught before to Michelle in "Pal Joey". He treats the family as his "troops". After he gives them their assignments, they sound off and march upstairs (see Quotes).
Jesse accidentally breaks a handle off of a drawer in the kitchen, and ends up having to replace the kitchen's entire network of cabinets and drawers because the broken handle's design has been discontinued, and a newer design that Jesse buys does not go very well with the cabinet and drawer design that is in the kitchen, so Jesse has to buy cabinets and drawers that go with the new handles.
At the same time, the girls (including Michelle) have to decide what toys they will keep and which ones they will donate to charity. During this time, Stephanie is frantic. It seems that Mr. Bear, the stuffed toy that the girls' mother, Pam, gave Stephanie on the day that she brought newborn Michelle home from the hospital, is missing. Stephanie does not want to lose Mr. Bear because he not only is her best friend but also represents one of the last tangible links between her and her mom.
The family also helps Stephanie look for Mr. Bear, but to no avail, so she starts making "Lost" posters in hopes he will turn up soon. She then suspects that Joey might have unintentionally given him away, but D.J. just wants her, just for once, to take her mind off of her lost companion.
Joey brings a bear that he calls "Dr. Bear" (who looks a lot like Mr. Bear), and Jesse's parents, Nick and Irene, bring a whole bunch of teddy bears, all in an attempt to cheer Stephanie up, but she wants nothing to do with them, so she storms off upstairs, much to the shock of everyone (and the groans of the audience). Danny and Jesse realize that they need to snap the kid out of this, but this is easier said than done. Nick and Irene want to take their stash back, but it appears Michelle is attached to those bears.
The family heads upstairs to D.J. and Stephanie's room, and find the kid moping around at the window, and remind her that they still have her; however, she still insists that losing Mr. Bear is just as bad as losing a fellow human family member such as Pam. Everyone's sick and tired of her moping around and all they want her to do is just plain cheer up, but she can't and won't until Mr. Bear turns up again (see Quotes). D.J. remembers how their mother brought home Mr. Bear for Stephanie, Jesse then feels a little guilty for being so mad, because Mr. Bear was so important to Stephanie because he was a present from Pam. Everyone reminisces about Pam (as the inspirational music plays), and the reason that nobody has brought her up in a long time is of all the pain it would bring back to everyone. Among their memories is when Pam would sing to D.J. and Stephanie.
As the family is remembering Pam by watching a videotape of her arriving home from the hospital with Michelle two years ago, Michelle gets Mr. Bear out of his hiding place and gives him back to Stephanie, who then apologizes to Joey for falsely accusing him of donating him to charity, and this also brings cheers to the rest of the family.
As they continue watching the tape, images of Pam holding Michelle appear on the TV screen (as somber music plays), and the mood among the family is very somber indeed (as the music plays out and the EP credits appear).
[The family is in the living room, as "troops" to "General" Danny.]
Danny: Good morning, troops. It is now 0700 [7 a.m. military time] and it's time to attack the enemy. Grease, grime, slime, sludge. And that's just Joey's room. Now, what is dirt?
Michelle: Dirt bad.
Danny: I can't hear you.
Michelle: Dirt bad!
Stephanie: Daddy's really into spring-cleaning, isn't he?
D.J.: Steph, it may be spring-cleaning to you and me, but to Dad, it's Christmas.
[The "troops" march off upstairs to do their duties. All singing in military cadence:]
Joey: Hut! If we find dirt, we will attack!
All: If we find dirt, we will attack!
Jesse: [taking Michelle with him] And we'll get Danny off our back!
All: And we'll get Danny off our back!
Joey: Sound off!
All: 1, 2!
Joey: Sound off!
Michelle: Dirt bad!
Danny: [sighs] I love the smell of Lysol in the morning.
[In D.J. and Stephanie's room, Stephanie prepares to get rid of any toys and stuffed animals they don't want anymore, as Mr. Bear "looks on".]
Stephanie: Mr. Bear, part of spring-cleaning is giving the toys we don't play with anymore to charity. Should we keep Candy Land? [cut to Mr. Bear] No, there's no real candy in it. You are such a nutty bear.
[Michelle comes in, accompanied by D.J.]
D.J.: Michelle, before we give these toys away, is there something you want here?
Michelle: I want that. [points to Mr. Bear]
[She grabs you-know-what, but you-know-who stops her dead in her tracks (see photo above).]
Stephanie: Freeze, bear-napper!
Michelle: Who, me?
Stephanie: [takes back her "friend"] Mr. Bear is not a toy. He's one of the family.
D.J.: If Mr. Bear's related to anyone in this room, it's the mattress.
Stephanie: [holds him close to her to 'hear' him "speak"] Mr. Bear says, 'How rude'.
Stephanie: [praying] God, I hate to bother you. I know you've got a lot of stuff to do, but Mr. Bear is missing, so if you could squeeze in just one more miracle, I'd be a happy camper.
[Stephanie is making "Lost" posters in hopes that someone will return Mr. Bear.]
D.J.: Steph, how many of these posters are you gonna make?
Stephanie: I'm gonna put one on every telephone pole in America. I've gotta find Mr. Bear.
D.J.: Steph, why don't we try talking about something else besides Mr. Bear?
Stephanie: OK, let's talk about Joey. Why'd he give away Mr. Bear?
D.J.: Don't blame Joey. Accidents happen. Like, remember the time you lost my Pillow Person? He was so cute. He had dangling arms and legs. I was mad at you for losing him, but then I got over it. I grew up. I moved on.
[Stephanie gets up to get something under her bed.]
Stephanie: I found your Pillow Person under my mattress.
D.J.: My Pillow Person! [She cuddles him.] Oh, I thought I'd never see you again! [sees Stephanie's sad expression] I mean, what a pleasant surprise.
[Suddenly, Joey comes in.]
Joey: Hi, girls. Steph, I feel terrible about this Mr. Bear thing. Is there any way I can make it up to you?
Stephanie: Do you remember what Mr. Bear looks like?
Joey: Well, yeah, sure.
Stephanie: Then grab a crayon.
Joey: Pass me a brown.
[In her bedroom, the family tries to cheer Stephanie up.]
Danny: Steph, I know you miss Mr. Bear, but it's not like you're all alone in the world. You still got us.
Stephanie: I guess so.
Jesse: All right, young lady. I'm tired of this moping around. [He marches over, grabs his niece's hand, and pulls her away from the window.] You come out here and you lay one of those killer smiles on me. Okay, come on. [She gives a half smile.]
Danny: Steph, a real smile. Mr. Bear would want you to be happy because that's the kind of bear he was, right?
Joey: And wherever Mr. Bear went I'm sure he's bringing happiness to some other kid.
Stephanie: That's true. He was very good at that. He's been making me happy since I met him.
D.J.: I remember the exact day. It was when Mom came home from the hospital with our new baby sister, Michelle.
Danny: That's right. She gave D.J. a charm bracelet and she gave you Mr. Bear.
Jesse: So, that's why Mr. Bear is so important to you because he was a present from Mom, huh?
Stephanie: Oh, yeah. I forgot Mom gave me Mr. Bear. That must be why I love him so much.
[At the mention of Mr. Bear in the video, Michelle brings him out of his hiding place in the piano bench.]
Stephanie: Mr. Bear? It's you! It's really you!
Danny: All right.
Joey: Michelle, did you hide Mr. Bear?
Joey: [smiling] How could you do this to me?
Michelle: I don't know.
Stephanie: Joey, I'm sorry I blamed you.
Joey: That doesn't matter. All that matters is the bear is back!
- The episode title is a take on the book and movie Goodbye, Mr. Chips
- The only episode in which Danny's late wife, Pam Tanner, is shown
- It is revealed in the episode that Pam died from a car accident
- Danny saying, "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning" (see Quotes) is a take on the famous line from Apocalypse Now: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning"
- The line "How could you do this to me?" is a running gag in the episode, spoken by different characters
- "On Top of Spaghetti" is a parody of "On Top of Old Smoky"
- The first time Jesse's "Look alive!" phrase is used against him (by Danny, who wakes him from his 'cleaning service' nap)
- There is an outtake from the scene where Stephanie tries to report the "kidnapping" of Mr. Bear to a police officer, but when he asks her who was kidnapped, Jodie Sweetin forgets her line and says "I don't know!"