|It's Not My Job|
|Season 2, episode 3|
|Air date||October 28, 1988|
|Previous||Tanner vs. Gibbler|
|Next||D.J.'s Very First Horse|
Everyone in the family is dressed up for a Halloween costume party (see #Quotes).
Jesse has made his first sale of an advertising jingle, which he demonstrates to the family as they return from the dentist's office. Speaking of which, Stephanie gets her first cavity, and she is afraid of going to the dentist to get it filled. Everyone tries to alleviate her emotional pain, to no avail (see Quotes).
When Jesse's parents, Nick and Irene, arrive for a visit, everyone's excited, until Jesse drops the bombshell on the success of his first jingle sale: he tells Nick that he wants to leave his pest extermination business. Nick is severely disappointed; so disappointed that he threatens to disown his son, whom, with Irene, manage to talk some sense into Nick, who realizes that Jesse's dream is to make it in the music business, and although Nick is still unhappy about Jesse's decision, he and Jesse work things out.
At the dentist's office, Stephanie is even more nervous when she is actually sitting on the examination chair. Joey, who takes her there, helps her beat her fear, as does the dentist himself (see Quotes).
Back home, as Irene departs with Michelle, Jesse and Nick have a "little chat" of their own (complete with inspirational music; see Quotes), after which they hug (just as the music stops and the audience applauds).
More good news comes in the form of Stephanie coming home with the usual gift bag of dental goodies: a Snoopy toothbrush, cinnamon dental floss, and a pack of sugarless gum. She remarks that she wants dentists at her next birthday party instead of clowns. Everyone's anxious and excited to see her new filling, so she shows it off (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
[The teaser: The family prepares for a costume party.]
Stephanie: [as The White Rabbit] Hurry up, everybody. Let's go to the Halloween party. Hop to it. We're late, we're late for a very important date.
D.J.: Make way for Cleopatra, Queen of the Nile.
Stephanie: Why’d you pick that?
D.J.: Because Dad wouldn’t let me be Elvira.
[The guys, as the Three Stooges, stick their head out of the kitchen door, one at a time, singing and harmonizing:]
Joey: [as Curly] Hello.
Jesse: [as Moe] Hello.
Danny: [as Larry] Hello.
Guys: [in unison] Hello.
Joey: [to Jesse] Hey, Moe.
Jesse: Spread out, knuckleheads. [...] [to 'Larry'] What are you laughing at, pudding-head? [pulls "Larry"'s hair and shows it to 'Curly'] You see this?
Danny: Girls, we're a lock to win the costume contest.
[But, when Michelle comes in dressed as a Jack-o-Lantern...]
D.J.: Forget it, guys. We're dead meat.
[Jesse and his band have rehearsed their Splash City jingle for Stephanie to cure her fears regarding cavities.]
Stephanie: I think it's gonna fall out anyway, it's a baby tooth.
[In D.J. & Stephanie's bedroom, D.J. and Kimmy are doing their homework. As usual, D.J. isn't happy about her best friend being a copycat.]
D.J.: You even copied my name.
Stephanie: [enters the room brushing with two toothbrushes] Hello.
Kimmy: What are you doing?
Stephanie: Brushing away my cavity.
D.J.: She's been brushing for three days.
Kimmy: Kid, you can't brush it away. You can't wish it away. You have to drill it away [makes a drill sound]. [Stephanie grimaces.] Did you hear about Kathy Santoni? She went in for a filling and came out with her mouth wired shut, and she had to eat through a hole in her throat.
[Kimmy's scare tactic causes Stephanie to brush harder and faster.]
D.J.: So, Grandpa Nick, you have anything that needs unwrapping?
Danny: Tacky, Deej. You can't expect presents every time they visit. [to Nick, jokingly] Did you get me anything?
Nick: Girls, we give each other love, not toys and bags of money.
Irene: Very true. [to Danny] I wanna see Michelle. Has she learned to say 'Grandma' yet?
Danny: She's working on it. Right now it sounds like 'Granola'. Coming, Nick?
Nick: No, I wanna finish my lecture. Come here, girls. Now, you can't expect presents every time we pop over. [after Irene leaves] Here's five bucks for both of you.
D.J. & Stephanie: Thanks, Grandpa.
Nick: But remember, don't tell Grandma.
[In Jesse's room, he and his father argue over the decision to quit the exterminator business to live out his music dreams.]
Nick: We're the same.
Jesse: We're different.
Nick: We're the same.
Jesse: We're different.
Both: [in unison] Will you listen to me?!
Jesse: I've made up my mind, Pop.
Nick: Meaning what?
Jesse: Meaning... I quit.
Nick: You can't quit. I built this business for you.
Jesse: Dad, it's not what I wanna do.
Nick: Then quit.
Jesse: Okay, I quit.
Nick: Fine. If you're out of the family business... you're out of the family.
[In Michelle's bedroom, Danny is reading Goodnight Moon to Michelle.]
Danny: 'Goodnight clocks and goodnight...'
Danny: 'Goodnight little house and goodnight...'
Jesse: '[enters the room] ...mouse.'
[In the hallway, after Danny puts Michelle to bed...]
Danny: Did you try calling your dad?
Jesse: What's the point? He kicked me out of the family.
Danny: The point is you're sitting on the floor in the hallway like a potted plant. Jesse, let's talk about it. Get up. Come with me. [He helps up his brother-in-law and they go into his room.] Look at this room. It's a mess. [Jesse glares at him.] Sorry, just slipped out. Look, Jess, I know Nick. He didn't mean it. He's just a hot-headed stubborn guy. But underneath all that anger... is more anger. But underneath that is a man who's really hurting... because he really loves you.
Jesse: Well, he's gotta stop trying to run my life. I'm 25 years old. He's gotta start accepting me as an adult who can make his own decisions. It's my life, man, and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make me happy.
Danny: Good. Are you happy?
Jesse: No, I'm miserable.
Danny: Jesse, you're not gonna be happy until you do everything you can to make things right with your father. You've gotta reach out to him. Come on. Sleep on it, okay? [He covers him up.]
Jesse: All right.
Danny: Think about it. Good night, little mouse. [He leaves and switches off the light.]
Jesse: Good night. [He looks at his clock.] What am I doing? It's 7:00.
[In D.J. & Stephanie's bedroom...]
Stephanie: [as she climbs into her sister's bed, still asleep] No dentist. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going.
D.J.: [turns on the light] May I help you?
Stephanie: Where am I?
D.J.: In my bed. What are you doing in here?
Stephanie: I don't know. I had a bad dream. I was running in a forest and all the trees were dentists and they were chasing me yelling, 'Open wide. Open wide.'
D.J.: It was just a dream.
Stephanie: How do I know you're not a dream telling me it's just a dream?
D.J.: [Stephanie pinches her] Ow!
Stephanie: I'm awake.
D.J.: You're supposed to pinch yourself, you little nerd-bomber!
Stephanie: I'm sorry, but I'm not myself. D.J., I'm really afraid of the dentist.
D.J.: That's because you're a little kid. A long time ago, back when I was a little kid I was afraid of getting sucked down the drain in the bathtub.
D.J.: Yeah. When you were a year old, I put you in the tub and pulled the plug. And when you didn't go anywhere, I knew it was safe.
Stephanie: You tried to send me down the drain?
D.J.: Hey, you were only a year old. I hardly knew you.
[At the dentist's office, Stephanie refuses to open her mouth.]
Joey: I know this isn't as much fun as the circus but you have to be brave. So you know what you're gonna need? Courage.
Joey: Remember the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz? [sings as the lion] 'If I were king of the forest...' The Cowardly Lion thought he needed the Wizard to give him courage but he really had it all along, and so do you. Everybody keeps their courage in a different place. Me, I keep mine right here [wiggles his ears].
Stephanie: Where do you think my courage is?
Joey: I don't know... but look. We're in luck. A courage detector. [He holds up the suction tool.]
Stephanie: Last time I was here, it was a spit sucker.
Joey: Well, it does that too. Let's find out where your courage is. I found it. [He holds up the mirror tool.] This is great. Your courage is inside your mouth.
Joey: Yeah, here, take a look. See? See in the back of your throat there, that little hangy-ball thing?
Stephanie: Hey, yeah. What is that?
Joey: Well, that's your courage hangy ball.
Stephanie: I thought that was there for decoration.
Doctor: How we doing here? Wanna give it a try?
Stephanie: Well, okay. You better not be kidding me about this hangy ball business.
[Back home, Jesse sits on the couch with his acoustic guitar and Michelle sits next to him with a toy guitar.]
Jesse: Michelle, since I'm out of the bug biz, maybe you and I ought to put an act together, take it on the road, huh? Here, sing this. [singing] 'I got you babe.' Sing it.
Michelle: I got babe.
Jesse: That settles it. You be Sonny. Sing it again.
[His parents come in.]
Nick: [to Irene] I thought you said Barney (Barry) Manilow wasn't gonna be here.
Irene: [holding Michelle] Look who wants to visit Grandpa.
Nick: This isn't fair. [as he takes Michelle and holds her in his arms.] I was very steamed, I wanna stay steamed. Come here, my little angel. It's Grandpa. It's Grandpa.
Irene: Nick, we have a wonderful son. He loves you very much, and you love him. Now, forgive him, or we're getting Ozzie and Harriet beds. [She departs with Michelle and leaves father and son for some time alone.] Come on, my angel. Come on, that was good.
Jesse: Pop, I want out of the family business, I don't want out of the family. Come on, Dad. What do you think, I woke up yesterday and say: 'What should I do today, make an omelet or break my father's heart?' Dad, this is one of the hardest things I've ever done. But you can't throw me out of the family. I'm your son.
Nick: I didn't build a business to sell to some stranger. You really messed up my dream.
Jesse: What about my dream? Don't you want to see me happy?
Nick: Yeah, yeah.
Jesse: Then why can't you be proud of me?
Nick: Who said I wasn't proud of you?
Jesse: You're proud of me, really? I mean, you're proud of me for standing up to you and doing what I believe?
Nick: No, I hate that. I told you, you really messed up my dream. But you came through on another dream. The one about you growing up to be the kind of man I respect. When your sister died (may she rest in peace), the whole family was devastated. The way you moved in here and you pulled us all together. The sacrifices you made to help Danny raise our granddaughters... That really made me proud.
Jesse: Thanks, Pop. But I'm a musician and I want you to be proud of me for that too. I want you in my corner.
Nick: I guess I was a little rough on you. Look, I'm never gonna be happy about this music thing but I'm always gonna be in your corner. I'm your old man. [They hug (see infobox photo).]
- The first episode that Jesse's last name is "Katsopolis"
- This episode reveals that Jesse's mother's side is Italian
- The Lorimar Television jingle for this episode uses a warp-speed variant