|Nerd for a Day|
|Season 3, episode 4|
|Air date||October 13, 1989|
|Previous||Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (in 22 Minutes)|
Jesse tells Stephanie that she must apologize, but the apology makes Walter think Stephanie loves him. When Stephanie's friends come over to the house and see Stephanie talking to Walter, they make Stephanie a target for teasing, until Stephanie turns the tables on them, and shows them how it feels to be teased. That changes their behavior. As soon as that is over with, Jesse decides to have a "little chat" with her (complete with the inspirational music).
Meanwhile, at school, D.J. has been assigned to follow and observe a person for a day, then write an essay about that person. D.J. chooses Michelle to be the subject for the essay, since everything she does is simple, from talking to her stuffed animals to flushing every toilet in the house, from having a nap on D.J's bed to stealing the paper that has D.J.'s report and running out of the room, forcing D.J. to give chase. The chase then continues into Michelle's room, where D.J. runs so fast that she bumps her knee hard on Michelle's crib, and Michelle kisses the knee to make it feel better. The next day, D.J. gets an "A" on the report and gives a high-five to her sister.
[The opening teaser: Joey is reading in the living room. Michelle comes in from the kitchen in her pedal-car, and suddenly stops.]
Michelle: Car broken.
Joey: [getting up from his chair] 'Car broken'? Okay, let's check it out [presses Michelle's tummy and back].
Michelle: [makes the noise of a car engine that won't start]
Joey: Yeah, it's broken, all right. [lifts her left arm] Well, this is loose. [makes ratchet sound and motion] We'll tighten this up, [lifts up her other arm] and this needs a little oil [makes oil can sound and motion]. Okay, let's try it again.
Michelle: [makes the car engine noise followed by a "vroom"] Thank you, Joey. [She starts pedaling away, but...]
Joey: [holds on to the back of her seat] Wait a minute, lady. You forgot to pay your bill.
Michelle: Sorry [kisses him on the cheek].
Joey: Here's your change [He kisses her back, and she's off – until she bumps the front step. She turns back around to him, who then shrugs.]
[Jesse and the Rippers are in the basement practicing.]
Jesse: [as he carries Michelle in and sets her down] All right, boys. Let's try that "Pounds Away" diet jingle one more time, but this time, I've got a little addition, OK? Here we go! Everyone got their parts? One, two...
Michelle: Buckle my shoe.
Jesse: No, Michelle. Like we practiced, okay? When I point to you, you do your part. Got it, babe?
Michelle: Got it, dude [with the thumb-sign].
Jesse: One, two, one, two, three.
Jesse & The Rippers: 'Well, she got her daddy's car and she cruised right by the hamburger stand, now. She threw away with the milkshake and the donut she had it in her hand, now.'
The Rippers: [in the background] 'She lost weight, yeah, she looks really great.'
Jesse & The Rippers: 'And when she looked in the mirror she goes to Pounds Away as soon as she can, now.'
The Rippers: [in the background] 'And she'll lose tons, tons, tons, if she signs up today at Pounds Away...'
Jesse & The Rippers: 'And now with Pounds away, you won't be fat no more!' [Jesse points to Michelle.]
Michelle: Bye bye, fat!
[In D.J. & Stephanie's room, Michelle shakes "hands" with all her stuffed animals, as D.J. observes as part of her English homework.]
Michelle: Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi! Goodbye.
[She attempts to leave, but D.J. stops her.]
D.J.: Wait, wait, wait. Slow down, Michelle. Observing you was supposed to be easy. So far, you've played with all your animals, and you flushed every toilet in the house. Why don't we take a nap?
Michelle: Okay, nap time.
D.J.: Bless you.
[They take a nap, alright; a very small one, approximately 5 seconds.]
Michelle: Nap over.
D.J.: I feel refreshed.
[She leaves, as Jesse enters.]
Jesse: How's your report going, Deej?
D.J.: The question is where is my report going?
[That will have to wait, as she leaves her room, to find and follow Michelle.]
Danny: Joey, let’s go! We’re gonna be late!
Joey: Danny, what is the big rush?
Danny: Joey, you know I always leave the house at exactly 7:48. Now, thanks to you, I’m already two minutes late.
Joey: What are you talking about? We are right on time.
Danny: Joey... that’s a barometer.
Joey: Well, in that case, we’d better get moving. There’s a hurricane brewing.
[Meanwhile, D.J. chases Michelle for the paper that has her report.]
D.J.: Michelle, give me my paper back so I can write down that you stole it.
Michelle: My paper.
[She keeps running and D.J. keeps chasing, but D.J. doesn't see what's in front of her until it's too late, as she takes a hard bump into Michelle's crib.]
D.J.: Michelle, come--Owwww! Oh! Oh! Ow.
[She limps in pain and then sits on the floor, as Michelle gives the paper back.]
Michelle: I sorry.
D.J.: That's okay, Michelle.
Michelle: D.J. got a boo-boo?
D.J.: Yeah, I bumped my knee.
Michelle: I'll make it better.
[She kisses D.J.'s knee.]
D.J.: Thank you, Michelle.
Michelle: All better?
D.J.: All better.
Michelle: Okay. More fun.
[Michelle then grabs D.J.'s paper again and runs out of the room. Then, an angry Stephanie comes in.]
Stephanie: Have you seen your Uncle Jesse?
D.J.: Check his room.
Stephanie: If I wasn't so steamed, I would've thought of that!
[Later, as Michelle and Jesse are having sandwiches in the kitchen, D.J. comes home from school with some good news.]
D.J.: Hey, guys. Michelle, guess what? I read my report about you in class and I got an A! Give me five!
[They high five each other.]
Jesse: All right! so it was a good idea using the baby?
Michelle: I'm not a baby. I'm a big girl!
Jesse: Ooh, big girl. Excuse me, Miss Tanner.
D.J.: She's right, Uncle Jesse. You know, Michelle, I'm really glad I got to hang out with you. And we haven't spent that much time together since I started junior high.
D.J.: So, you're like a little person, now. You're sensitive, compassionate, and you're actually smarter than most dogs.
[Michelle sticks her tongue out while holding both sides of her mouth.]
D.J.: But you still gross me out.
Stephanie: He's not my boyfriend... but he is my friend.
Walter: Really? I'm your secret friend?
Stephanie: No, Walter. You're my "everybody can know" friend.
- The first of the very few appearances by Brian Kagan and Walter F. Berman, the only appearance of Stephanie's friend Laurie, and final appearance of Harry Takayama (until the Fuller House episode "War of the Roses")
- The first of seven episodes to not feature Becky (on assignment)
- Danny says, "Oh, Dorothy was right. There is no place like home!" Danny is referring to one of Dorothy Gale's most famous lines in the popular, classic The Wizard of Oz
- According to Jesse, he apparently was teased as a kid, which is why his role was important in this episode
- The last episode where the closing credits end with the image of Michelle being carried from the kitchen floor to her high chair at dinner (from the first 2 seasons)
- This episode is part of the basis for the Full House book Same to You, Duck Face