|One Last Kiss|
|Season 4, episode 9|
|Air date||November 16, 1990|
|Writer(s)||Leslie Ray & David Steven Simon|
|Next||Terror in Tanner Town|
Jesse is actually looking forward to attending his ten-year high school reunion until he hears, on his bedroom phone's answering machine, quite a flirty message from Carrie Fowler, his high school sweetheart, singing "Muskrat Love".
Because of his commitment to Becky, Jesse is reluctant to see Carrie. A nervous Jesse begs Becky to accompany him to the reunion, but Becky has already made plans to take D.J. and Kimmy to the TV station to watch the 6 p.m. news broadcast in person as research for an article D.J. is doing for the school newspaper.
Meanwhile, Stephanie throws a birthday party for Comet, complete with all the neighborhood dogs, and Danny is surprised that the birthday dog is able to blow out the candle on his birthday cake (as shown in the video) – which elicits applause from all (including the studio audience).
In any event, Jesse is forced to go to the reunion by himself. At the reunion, he is reunited with his band from high school, Discipline Problems. While they are playing "My Sharona," Carrie walks in. Carrie is very interested in reconnecting with Jesse.
Jesse and Carrie parted ways ten years ago when she took advantage of a chance to be a model in France, while he wanted to try to succeed in the music business. Now, Carrie ends up kissing Jesse, and that leads him to realize that he does not feel the way about her as he did a decade ago (because he loves Becky).
Back at home, the party is over. What nobody knows is that little Sparky is missing. Everyone goes on a search for him, including D.J. It turns out that Michelle takes a liking to Sparky (and has since the start of the party) and tries any way she can think of to keep him – even putting bunny ears on him, calling him “Peanut”, and having him hidden among the toys and stuffed animals on her bed. She tries to fool D.J. by pretending that it was her that barked and not Sparky. However, D.J. is not fooled and forces her to come clean and tell her the truth about why she wants to keep Sparky: Comet's grown too big for her. So D.J. has to explain why animal and human growths differ, and even how (see Quotes). Afterwards, she decides to walk Sparky home herself and then treat Michelle to a double-scoop ice cream sundae—promising to skip the speech next time.
When Jesse comes home, he explains the night's events to Danny, and Danny decides to give an analogy that does not really sit well with his brother-in-law (see Quotes). When Carrie shows up, he explains why he did what he had to do. They part ways after one last kiss (hence the episode's title), then he heads upstairs and explains the situation to Becky, realizing she is the one for him after all. After a kiss (as the inspirational music plays), she realizes that he had some doubts. But at this point, there's no doubt she loves him (and vice versa), and she understands that just as the music stops. After one more kiss, she gets an invite to his next reunion and accepts (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
[The opening teaser: Stephanie is in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on Comet's birthday cake as her dad enters the back door.]
Danny: Hey. Steph, what's going on?
Stephanie: I'm just finishing up Comet's birthday cake. I made his favorite: meatloaf with cheese frosting.
Danny: That looks just great. Just don't ask me to lick off the spoon, okay?
Michelle: [standing in the doorway] Do I see a cake? [She dashes in.]
Stephanie: This is for Comet's birthday party. [wagging her finger] Keep your paws off.
Michelle: I'll try, but birthday cake makes me crazy!
Danny: Did I hear you say you're throwing a birthday party for Comet? Look, I understand he's family and all... [Comet dashes in at the sound of his name.]
Stephanie: [quietly] Shh! Not in front of the D-O-G.
Michelle: I can spell my name. M-I-C... H-E-L... L-L-L... E.
Danny: That was very good, Michelle-le-le-le...
Stephanie: Dad, can you get Comet out of the house so Joey and I can set up his surprise party later?
Danny: Oh, and where do you want me to take him? Dinner and a movie?
Stephanie: Don't be silly. He's a dog. Take him shopping. [Her dad laughs as he leaves.]
Michelle: Mmm, frosting! [licks the spatula only to find out it's not the sweet stuff she was hoping for] Yuck! [Stephanie smiles and shakes her head at her misfortune.] You're a bad cook [and she shakes her head in disgust].
[Upstairs in his room on his guitar, Jesse is playing...]
Joey: [enters] My Sharona! [He then plays air guitar and makes electric guitar sounds; even going down on his knees.]
Jesse: Get down, Joseph!
Joey: I am down. I can't get up.
Jesse: [helping him up] Come on.
Joey: Thanks, Jess.
[Danny and Comet come home.]
Danny: [outside the front door] Well, here we are, birthday boy. [loudly, so they can hear inside] Home again, after our long, long walk. Hmm, Comet, I wonder why it's so quiet in there. Why don't we go in and see [opens the door].
Everyone: Surprise! [Stephanie and Joey blow their party horns.]
Stephanie: This is so great! Did you see the look on Comet's face? [She puts his party hat on his head.]
Danny: What about the look on my face? [Joey puts Danny's party hat on his head.] Steph, I think it's wonderful that you wanted to throw Comet a birthday party, but did you have to invite every dog on the block? Does anybody here have to use the hydrant?
Joey: Hey, don't take it personally, guys. He says that to all his dinner guests.
Stephanie: Dad, you know all of Comet's friends. [in order] There's Bobo [sitting on the floor], Winky [sitting in one chair], Sparky [sitting in the other chair next to Michelle], Zsa-Zsa [sitting on the ottoman], and Jaws [sitting on the floor with his ears up].
Danny: [shakes Jaws' paw] Nice to meet you, Jaws. I am not, nor have I ever been, a mailman.
Michelle: This one [Sparky] likes me. [He licks her.] Do I look like an ice cream cone?
[Everybody sings 'Happy Birthday' to Comet, with Joey singing it Scooby-Doo style as he brings out the birthday cake, with a dog treat to hold the candle. The dogs bark and Joey howls, until Danny stops him with the "kill it" motion, at which point he puts the cake down on the table.]
Stephanie: OK, Comet. Make a wish. You got it, boy? Now blow out the candle!
Danny: Steph, a dog cannot blow out a candle. [But Comet proves him wrong by huffing.] OK, smart guy. Now, let's see you cut the cake and pass out slices.
[At the reunion, Jesse's old high school band is entertaining the attendees with "My Sharona", when suddenly she enters...]
Hammer: [tapping Jesse on the shoulder] Carrie!
Jesse: M-m-m-[sees her] mercy.
Carrie: [waves] Hi.
Jesse: Ham... she wants you.
Hammer: Yeah, in my dreams! Get down there!
[At home, everyone searches for Sparky.]
Joey: [enters the front door] Well, I walked all the other dogs home. Any luck finding Sparky yet?
Danny: Not a trace. But I did find 38 cents and a rubber pork chop [puts them in his pocket]. Joey, if you were a dog, where would you be?
Joey: Hmm... drinking water out of the toilet. I'll go check!
Stephanie: Let's get Comet to help us find Sparky!
Becky: I'm afraid Comet's a little partied out right now.
[Comet is shown lying on the couch on his back.]
[In Michelle's room, she puts bunny ears on Sparky.]
Michelle: You can be my dog. I'll call you Peanut.
D.J.: [from the hallway] Michelle!
Michelle: Go hide on the bed, but no barking. [He does so, just as D.J. comes in.]
D.J.: Hey Michelle, have you seen Sparky?
Michelle: No Sparky here! [big smile] Have a nice day! [His bark is heard, which causes D.J. to turn around, and the camera cuts to show him on Michelle's bed surrounded by stuffed animals.]
D.J.: [sternly] Did that bunny rabbit just bark?
Michelle: That was me. Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf. [Cut back to Sparky, who barks again; as Michelle now knows she's in big trouble (, mister).] Maybe it's a doggy.
D.J.: Maybe [as she walks over, sits on Michelle's bed, and puts Sparky on her lap] it's Sparky.
Michelle: His name is Peanut and he’s my doggy.
D.J.: But Michelle, you already have a doggy. What’s wrong with Comet?
Michelle: [She demonstrates with her hands.] One day, Comet was this big. [She holds her hands close together.] Now, he’s this big! [She holds her hands real wide.]
D.J.: Oh, I see. You want a dog that’s your size. Well, the reason Comet got so big is because dogs grow faster than people. But Comet’s all finished growing, and you’re still getting bigger. So, as you get bigger, Comet will seem to be getting smaller, even though in fact, he’s staying the same size. Understand?
Michelle: Are you nuts?
[As Danny vacuums up after Comet's party, his brother-in-law comes home from the reunion, desperate for some advice.]
Jesse: Come on, I need your help here. I just kept thinking: what if I saw Carrie before I met Becky? Or what instead of 10-year reunions, they had, like, 7-year reunions? What if I saw her, and danced with her, and what if I kissed her, what if I liked it, or...
Danny: What if Becky hears it? She's upstairs with the girls.
Jesse: She's upstairs? Becky's here?
Danny: Jess, Jess; calm down. Look, what I think you need to do is sort out your feelings... like you would sort out your laundry...
Jesse: [annoyed] Daniel.
Danny: No, stay with me on this. Think of your feelings for Becky as your whites, and your feelings for Carrie as your darks. Now, make sure you do separate loads; otherwise, a red sock could get in with your whites, and then you wind up with pink underwear. [But again, he gets the look.] I'm sorry these laundry analogies are highly sophisticated. Look, I think Becky's the greatest. But it's not fair for either of you to get married if you're not sure about your feelings. Whatever you need to do to sort this out, you'd better do it right now.
[Carrie enters the open front door.]
Carrie: Hi, Jess.
Danny: Who's that?
Jesse: It's the red sock. [to Carrie] What are you doing here?
Carrie: To find out why you walked out on me.
Jesse: Carrie, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but... I had my life figured out, then you show up, and now I don't know what I'm doing.
Carrie: I think you're scared you still have feelings for me. There's only one way to find out.
Jesse: Carrie... [They kiss.]
Jesse: ...Well... That was a wonderful kiss. It made me think of the great times we had, together. But, Carrie, it made me realize that we have is in the past.
Carrie: So, it's really over?
Jesse: It's really over.
Carrie: Well, I needed to know.
Jesse: Me too.
Carrie: Thanks for the dance. Goodbye, Jesse.
Jesse: Goodbye, Carrie.
[Jesse runs upstairs.]
Jesse: Becky! Becky! Boy, am I glad to see you. [He kisses her.]
Becky: What happened? How was your reunion?
Jesse: The most incredible thing happened.
Jesse: I saw my old girlfriend, she looked beautiful.
Jesse: Then—get this—we slow-danced to our song.
Jesse: Yeah, and then we kissed, okay?
Becky: You kissed her?!
Jesse: Yeah... but listen, see...
Becky: You kissed her?!
Jesse: Listen one second, Becky...
Becky: You kissed her?!
Jesse: But the best part was after the kiss.
Becky: I'll kill you!
Jesse: Becky, listen. When I kissed her, I realized that I never wanna kiss anyone but you for as long as I live. I love you so much. [They kiss.]
Becky: Honey, just one little question.
Becky: When is your next high school reunion?
Jesse: Ten years.
Becky: I'm going.
The episode title comes from the song title of the same name from the musical Bye Bye Birdie.