|Our Very First Show|
|Season 1, episode 1|
|Air date||September 22, 1987|
|Next||Our Very First Night|
Our Very First Show is the premiere episode of Full House, which aired for the first time on September 22, 1987.
This is not the actual pilot for the series. The unaired pilot (with basically the same plotline as this episode) was shot with John Posey as Danny – because Bob Saget, the producers' first choice for the role, was unavailable, due to a prior commitment. The pilot is included in the Complete Series and The Complete First Season DVD sets.
For recap, see: Our Very First Show/Transcript
Danny Tanner's wife, Pam, was killed in a car crash three months earlier, leaving him with the task of raising his three daughters on his own. His mother, Claire, had been staying with the family to help out, but when she must go back to Seattle, he asks his brother-in-law Jesse and best friend Joey to move in to help him take care of the girls: ten-year-old D.J., five-year-old Stephanie, and one-year-old Michelle. Joey and Jesse's first day includes changing a diaper. Since neither knows about taking care of a baby, they struggle in their efforts to care for Michelle.
The other girls have a difficult time adjusting to the living arrangements. D.J. is frustrated that she has to share her room with Stephanie since Stephanie's old room is now going to be occupied by Jesse. Stephanie, on the other hand, is elated (see Quotes).
Jesse then enters and the girls are happy to see him (see Quotes). After he asks D.J. about her incoming tooth, Stephanie gets him to play "ballerina", and he initially refuses, but gives in after her "crying routine".
A few seconds later, Joey makes his entrance, and is glad to see Jesse and Danny, the latter showing him his "room": the alcove. He is excited about the move-in, as he's anxious to do his laundry (see Quotes).
Jesse is shown his room and is shocked by the presence of pink bunnies on the wallpaper (because it was Stephanie's room before; see Quotes).
In the bedroom across the hall, D.J. makes the most of sharing it with her younger sister. As the older sister, she sets the rules for her new roommate (see Quotes). When Joey and Danny come in, they assure D.J. everything will be just fine, and even offer Stephanie a piggy-back ride.
In Michelle's room, she continually cries. They figure that she needs to be changed. And that's something they have no experience doing. They take her downstairs to the kitchen to do it (see Quotes).
After arguing over where to put Michelle, they change out her old diaper, but can't find the pack of new diapers! So, they get creative every step of the way (see Quotes), until Stephanie brings out the pack of diapers (see video above).
Later that night, Jesse and Joey are exhausted, as the living room is a mess from the "diaper change" and "feeding" fiascos. When Danny comes home, he can't believe what he sees (see Quotes).
Then, after her flight gets canceled, Vanessa comes in and she and Jesse head off to find some time alone. But before they can do so, Stephanie asks Jesse to play "ballerina" again. However, the guys all ask her to play with D.J., but Stephanie says she can't because D.J. moved out (see Quotes).
Danny leads everyone upstairs to find the closet and drawers are open and empty... (see Quotes). Stephanie tells them that D.J. has moved into the garage, where the guys find her talking on the phone to her best friend and next-door neighbor, Kimmy Gibbler. Danny has to deal with this situation without knowing how, so he asks Jesse and Joey to help. Danny demands his oldest daughter to return to the house, Jesse calls him out for it, and Joey tries his (funny) way (see Quotes), but all efforts fail – for now.
When Michelle starts crying again, this time, it is a hungry cry. Danny asks Joey to go inside and warm up the baby bottle and asks Jesse to stay and talk to D.J. Like Danny, Jesse does not blame her for wanting her own room, but the world is not a perfect place. Eventually, he buys her off and she changes her mind and moves back into the house. But by the time she is back in, Danny drops a bombshell on his brother-in-law (see Quotes)!
Danny rejects D.J.'s offer of a garage sale and also gives her the ultimatum of either her moving back in or all five of them moving into the garage. After ultimately deciding to move back in, D.J. reveals why she was upset about sharing her room with Stephanie. She did not like things that she loves disappear one by one. It started with the death of her mother, followed by her grandmother moving out, and now the fact that she has to share her room instead of having her own room. Danny and Stephanie comfort her, and then back in the living room, the family sings "Meet the Flintstones" to Michelle, making her very happy.
[After Claire leaves, the girls are very sad, so Danny tries to lift their spirits.]
Danny: Okay! Are we gonna have fun, or what? Hey, hey, hey! Let's see some smiles. Everything is gonna work out super great. Your uncle Jesse's moving in. My best friend Joey is moving in. And you know what? That means you two are gonna get to be roommates. Isn't that exciting?
Stephanie: I can wear all of D.J.'s clothes!
D.J.: Do I have to share my room with her?
Danny: Honey, it's gonna be just like having a slumber party.
D.J.: Yeah, with only one guest... who never leaves!
Jesse: Hey, hey, look alive! Uncle Jesse's here!
D.J. & Stephanie: Uncle Jesse!
Jesse: [imitating the girls] Uncle Jesse! [normal voice] Alright! Hello! D.J., how you doing? That tooth come in yet?
Jesse: That's okay. One less to brush [drops his guitar on the table and tosses his motorcycle helmet into Danny's hands]. Danno! Last night, after my gig at The Smash Club... I go for a cruise on my Harley, right? Next thing I know, I'm in Reno. It was dark. Who would've known? Then, I happened to wander into this show, Razzle Dazzle '87. Much better than Razzle Dazzle '86, by the way, and I see this incredible showgirl, Vanessa, right? Our eyes meet. Ba-boom! This lightning bolt of passion shoots across the casino. Turns out, Vanessa's on her way to the Philippines to do a Bob Hope special.
[Joey enters the living room carrying a bundle of laundry as he makes a trumpet fanfare sound.]
D.J.: Hi, Joey.
Joey: Hi, gang.
Danny: Oh, Joey, buddy, this is the best; you're moving in! [He hugs Joey and takes his bundle of clothes at the same time.]
Joey: Thanks, Danny. This works out so perfect. I move into a place with a washing machine on the exact day I run out of clean clothes. [Danny, freaked out by those last two words, confirms that by quickly dropping the dirty laundry on the floor as everyone else steps back.] Jesse, long time no see. Now be honest. Did you ever think we'd end up being roommates?
Jesse: Not once.
Joey: I love this guy. [He walks over to his 'room'.] Danny, there's no way all my stuff will fit into a room this tiny.
Danny: Joey, this is not a tiny room. This is a large alcove. In fact, this is a large alcove that you're living in for free.
Joey: You know, now that I take a close look at it, it's [echoing] enormous... ‘normous... ‘normous... [to the girls] We are gonna have so much fun. Aren't we, kids? [He does the Popeye laugh.]
D.J.: [to Danny] You think we can catch grandma at the airport?
[Danny shows Jesse his new room. Stephanie's bed is still there, as is a wooden table and chairs.]
Danny: Nice, huh? Roomy. Not overly masculine?
Jesse: Oh golly, it's swell. You know what would look great by the window? Barbie's Dream House.
Danny: We've got one. Look, Jesse, I just want you to know that having you and Joey here... really means a lot to me. Just knowing somebody's here who cares about the girls. You know, they're so happy you're here. Oh, God bless you! [He hugs his brother-in-law.]
Jesse: You're hugging me in a room with pink bunnies.
Danny: I'm sorry. I'm an emotional guy.
Jesse: It's all right.
Danny: Okay, let's face it. I'm a lean, mean, hugging machine.
Jesse: Okay. Danny, listen... Pam was my big sister. And I loved her very much. And I love your kids. And I'm happy to do what I can. [Danny hugs him again.] Aah, you're hugging me again. Now listen; you and me, we'll sit down. We'll set aside a special time for hugging. But not now. [He opens the closet and can't believe the arrangement of the clothes-racks.] Oh, great. I live in Webster's room (see Trivia).
[In D.J. and Stephanie's new room, D.J. explains two simple rules for her new roommate (shown in video).]
D.J.: [rolling out crime-scene like tape from the window] Rule #1: Never touch my stuff. You should be taking notes. Rule #2: [clips the other end of the tape to an easel] Never set foot on my half of the room.
Stephanie: How do I get out of here?
D.J.: Easy. You jump out the window and climb down the tree.
Stephanie: I don't think so.
D.J.: Suit yourself.
Stephanie: I'll find a way out. [She climbs up to the window rod and climbs all the way across until she reaches D.J.'s side, already a "rule #2" violation (despite not setting foot directly). D.J. opens the window to send Stephanie all the way back to her own side, just as Danny and Joey enter.]
Danny: Stephanie, what are you doing?
Stephanie: Just hanging around. [...] [to her sister, regarding her piggyback ride] Told ya I'd find a way out.
[In Michelle's room, the guys try to get her to stop crying.]
Joey: [in a baby voice] Oh, Michelle, little baby-waby. What's the matter? Uncle Jesse [turns to look at him], what are we gonna do?
Jesse: First, we stop talking like a Munchkin. [to Michelle] Hey, shut up! [But that doesn't help.]
Joey: Wait, I'll handle this. I'm a comic. It's my nonpaying job to cheer people up. Uh, hi, Michelle. [imitating Kermit] It's me, Kermit the Frog. Now, you don't want to cry, do you? [imitating Pee-Wee] Hi, it's me, Pee-Wee Herman. Do you wanna go to my playhouse? Wait. She'll love it. I call it, "The Sprinkler." [He swallows some water and imitates a fountain, while Jesse grabs an umbrella and shields Michelle.] Tough room. Jesse, what if she needs to be... uh... changed?
Jesse: Check it out. [He doesn't budge.] Go!
Joey: [looks inside the diaper] We have a winner. Now what?
Jesse: Joseph, put yourself in her place. What would you want done?
Joey: I've never changed a diaper.
Jesse: Me neither. At least you touched one. All right, look out; I'll show you how it's done. [to Michelle] Come here, child. You believe this guy? [to Joey] All right, make yourself useful.
Joey: I'll take the south end [leaving Jesse with the "north end"].
[Stephanie watches as Jesse and Joey carefully carry Michelle downstairs to change her diaper.]
Joey & Jesse: Step one, step two, step one, step two, step one, step two, step one, step two.
Jesse: Okay, keep her coming.
Stephanie: Showtime! [She heads in to watch them.]
[In the kitchen... (shown in video)]
Joey: Where do we put the baby?
Jesse: Where do we put the child? [They both look around.]
Joey: Uh... the pot. [takes an oval roasting pan from the counter to the island] Over here.
Jesse: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Joey, this is a living thing. You don't just stick it in a pot... Use a meat rack. [Joey puts the rack and a folded towel in the pan, then Jesse sets her in it.] [...] Joey, strip her. [Joey unfastens the diaper.] All right, careful there. You're in control. All right, slide it off and... [realizing how soiled and stinky it is, they both go:] Ugh! [Michelle smiles, and Stephanie's expression says "What are they thinking/doing?".] [Joey takes a meat fork, stabs the diaper, looks for someplace to put it, sees a Tupperware bowl, sticks it in and seals it with the lid.] Good thinking, Joey. Keep it fresh. [...]
Joey: Okay, hold her up; I'll clean her off [takes the sink spray and tries spraying off Michelle's bottom, but the water misses and goes onto the floor].
Jesse: You're missing! You're missing! You're missing! All right, come on. [Joey turns down the water pressure and just uses his hand to splash up the water onto her bottom...] Gently now, gently now, gently. There we go. This is great. We should be mothers. Let's dry her off [takes her to the other side where an electric fan is and turns it on]. Fan her [holds her right in front of the fan]. Fan her fanny. [And Joey echoes that.] [...]
[They can't find where Danny keeps the clean diapers.]
Joey: [seeing the roll of paper towels] Hey, [motions to it] super-absorbent.
Jesse: Bring it over. [Joey starts pulling and unrolling them] Okay, now what?
Joey: Okay, spin her.
Jesse: Spin her [but instead of spinning her, Jesse spins around while holding her].
[And Stephanie just stares with eyes wide open.]
[In the front room, there is a mess after the diaper changing and feeding fiascoes. The guys are on the couch, when...]
Danny: [coming in through the door] Hey guys, how'd it go today with -? Whoa! What happened? What's with all the dirty baby clothes?
Joey: I'm sorry, but every time we fed her, she'd drool or dribble or spit up.
Jesse: Your baby's a pig.
[Stephanie wants to play "ballerina" with Jesse again, but he asks her to go play with D.J.]
Stephanie: I can't. She moved out.
Danny: Stephanie, honey, what do you mean, 'She moved out'?
Stephanie: She's gone. She rolled up her crepe paper and took off.
Danny: Okay, everybody, follow me.
[They head upstairs and find all her things are gone and the closet and drawers are open. Danny glares at Jesse and Joey.]
[After the break...]
Danny: You lost my daughter?! I went to work for seven hours, and you lost 33 percent of my children? Joey, call the police. Jesse, search the neighborhood. I'm gonna call up D.J.'s friends.
Stephanie: And I'll go get D.J. [Hearing this, the guys step back in and confront her, forcing her to step back until she stands on a rug in the middle of the room.]
Danny: Stephanie, honey.
Stephanie: Yes, daddy?
Danny: Sweetheart, do you know where D.J. is?
Danny: Why didn't you say something sooner?
Stephanie: Nobody asked me.
[In the garage, D.J. is on the phone.]
Danny: D.J., can I talk to you?
D.J.: Kimmy, hang on. [to her dad] I'm talking to Kimmy Gibbler. She called me on her own phone from her own room. She has three sisters.
Danny: D.J., you don't wanna live in the garage. It's filthy. It's stuffy.
D.J.: You want some fresh air? [She picks up the remote control and hits the button. The garage door opens up.]
Danny: [smiles, looks at the guys, stands up, and gets serious] Donna Jo, I want you back inside right now, this instant! ... [calmly] Is that okay?
D.J.: No, thank you, Dad. [back to her phone call] So, Kimmy, where were we?
Jesse: Nice job, Dad. Been reading Cosby's book? (See Trivia.)
Joey: Cosby? I'll handle this [gets down next to her]. [in the voice of Bill Cosby:] Hello there, small childlike person. [laughs like Cosby] If you move back into the house, you can have a big, juicy bowl of Jell-O [Cosby laugh].
D.J.: No, Kimmy. That's not really him. I'll call you later [hangs up].
[In the garage, as Danny goes up to take care of Michelle, he asks Jesse to try being "parental" with his niece – and he does (try).]
Jesse: You can move your little bod back in the house. [D.J.'s face turns sad.] Look, D.J., I don't blame you for wanting your own room... but you gotta understand: this world is not a perfect place. Bruce Willis has a record deal. Ah, but then a Vanessa shows up at your door and it all evens out. You know what I'm saying? [She does.] So you'll move back in?
Jesse: "Nah"! All right. I'll speak the language you understand. Five bucks if you move back in.
Jesse: A buck? You went down a buck?
D.J.: Okay, it's back up to 50.
Jesse: All right, my final offer: Twenty bucks.
D.J.: Twenty-one [holds out her palm]. Vanessa's waiting [He pulls out bills from his pocket.]
[Jesse successfully gets D.J. to move back in – but when he is told that Vanessa is no longer there, he is not happy about it.]
Jesse: [running over, leaping over the couch, and covering Stephanie's ears, then saying to Danny:] What the hell did you do with Vanessa?!
Danny: I didn't do anything with her. I just told her, with three little girls in the house, I thought it'd be better if she slept on the couch... and she left.
Jesse: You hate me, don't you?
[D.J. walks through the living room.]
Jesse: [to D.J.] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Vanessa's gone. Deal's off. I want my money back.
Danny: What money?
D.J.: The money Uncle Jesse paid me to move back in.
Danny: That's your special way with children? You buy them off?!
Jesse: It works. [to D.J.] Kid, money. [She gives it back.] [And while his brother-in-law and Stephanie go into the kitchen to comfort D.J., he's tasked with cradling Michelle, warning her...] Don't even think about it [drooling, dribbling or spitting again].
[In the kitchen...]
Danny: [enters, carrying Stephanie and catching D.J. heading towards the garage again] D.J., honey, I can’t let you have a garage sale [takes her clothes and puts them down].
D.J.: What if I give you ten percent of the profits?
Danny: D.J... Come here. [sits down to talk to her eye-to-eye] Can’t you just try sharing a room with your sister? [She refuses to answer.] Your mom was always so good at this stuff. I’d come home from work, and everything was always perfect. D.J., how would Mom have handled this?
D.J.: She would have caught me before I moved into the garage. Mom knew everything I did before I did it [on the verge of tears].
Danny: [which makes him start to get emotional] What is it, honey?
D.J.: It’s just not fair! First I lose my mom, then Grandma leaves, and now I even lose my own room? Everything keeps disappearing.
Danny: I know exactly how you feel. And I know how much you girls miss your mother – because I miss her too... very much. But you still got me.
Stephanie: [takes D.J.'s hand] You got me, too.
Danny: You got Michelle, and you have your Uncle Jesse and Joey. D.J., we’re still a family. And now is when we really need to stick together. [D.J. is silent.] D.J., you and I, we go back a long time – ten years. The ten happiest years of my life. So look, it’s up to you. Either you move back inside, or all five of us are moving into the garage. But nothing is gonna break up this team.
[The family is in the living room, with Michelle in her playpen.]
Danny: She's singing. Michelle loves music.
Joey: Music? I'll handle this... [begins singing the theme song to a popular 1960s animated TV show] Ooh... 'Flintstones... Meet the Flintstones.'
Joey & Jesse: 'They're a modern stone-age family.'
Jesse: Everybody, sing along!
Everybody: 'From the – town of Bedrock, they're a page right out of history.'
Jesse: Let's take a walk. [Everyone does a line dance around the playpen.]
Everybody: 'Let's ride – with the family down the street. Through the – courtesy of Fred's two feet. When you're with the Flintstones...'
Jesse: Take it down, guys. [The guys crouch down to sing to Michelle.]
Everybody: [guys] 'You'll have a yabba-dabba-doo time, [girls] a dabba-doo time. [all] We'll have a gay, ol' time!'
Stephanie: [doing her impression of Fred] Wilma!
- The closing scene of this episode features Joey, Jesse, Danny, D.J., and Stephanie singing The Flintstones theme song to a fussy baby Michelle; 29 years later, it is recreated in the last scene of the premiere episode of Fuller House – this time singing to Tommy Jr. (comparison collage, right)
- Jesse saying, "I live in Webster's room" is a reference to the title character on Webster (TV series) (which ran on ABC in 1983–1987)
- Jesse asking Danny if he has been "reading Cosby's book" refers to the 1986 bestseller written by Bill Cosby called Fatherhood
- Despite being the official debut episode, it first aired as a "special preview" on Tuesday the 22nd, then the following episode ("Our Very First Night") was aired on the 25th and was called the "series premiere", in its usual Friday time slot
- The DVD contains a commentary by series creator and executive producer Jeff Franklin