|Season 2, episode 15|
|Air date||February 17, 1989|
|Director||Dennis Rinsler & Marc Warren|
|Previous||Little Shop of Sweaters|
Danny is mopping the kitchen floor, and praises Michelle's skills as she "mops" alongside. As he walks over to her, using paper towels, he begins teaching her the family motto: "Clean is good and dirt is bad", and says the future is in good hands.
When Jesse and Joey come in, Danny stops them and mentions the mopped floor, to which Jesse remarks that if there were a vine in the doorway they could swing in like Tarzan, and together they do the Tarzan yell as they take a big jump into the kitchen without even falling down and getting hurt. Then Joey remarks that they're trapped since they can't set foot on the wet, clean floor. Jesse says they're not, and gets creative by rolling a paper towel roll down the stairs to Joey's room, and Joey asks him not to get any dirt on the towels. They remark about doing such as they laugh their way downstairs, with the audience laughing not only at them but with them.
With them out of the way, Danny says that if it were not for him, not only would those "nutty guys" not have met but also would not have moved in to help him raise the girls.
Meanwhile, Stephanie's friend Harry Takayama has a crush on D.J., and to prove that he does, he lets her teach him subtraction (see Quotes).
Downstairs, Jesse and Joey give a coffee toast to their new business of Double J Creative Services. As they drink, they find out the coffee tastes a little bitter, and Joey remarks that next time they will have to remember to plug the coffee maker in first. Jesse says that Joey's room is doubling as their office, so a few things are going to have to go, such as the hockey dummies, wall puppets, and Mr. Potato Head, to which Joey says it makes the room look fun. But Jesse does not agree (see Quotes).
Back when they moved into the house, they did not exactly get along with each other very well at first. But since they started working together more, they have become good friends, and it is making Danny feel left out because lately, Joey has been taking Danny for granted.
Speaking of Danny, he comes downstairs holding Michelle, saying that he likes what they have done to the office. He adds that Jesse's babysitting tonight, so the two of them eat: Danny suggesting they eat in Chinatown and then catch a movie, and Joey suggesting they pick up some pizza and play some pool. Suddenly, the phone rings, Michelle picks it up, finds out the call is for Jesse and gives him the phone. Unfortunately, he gets some bad news regarding their new product, Chipp-Chunk Nut Cookies (see Quotes). So all the fun is going to have to be put on hold, as the partners have to work tonight, so they will hang out tomorrow. And Danny, who was supposed to work on next week's Wake Up, San Francisco shows with Becky tomorrow, decides to move it to Sunday.
Later, Harry comes by with a big "I Love You" heart-shaped lollipop for D.J., and even invites her out to lunch, but she says that she is eating with Kimmy. Stephanie turns to her sister and isn't happy about it. Not. One. Bit (see Quotes).
To get back at D.J. for her stealing Harry, Stephanie decides to switch rooms... literally. She moves Michelle's crib and stuff into their room, and her bed into Michelle's room. Needless to say, D.J.'s not happy about it (see Quotes). Harry shows up and then Jesse decides to settle this issue once and for all, in his room. But, Michelle is sitting on his bed, reading his mail. He sends her out of the room, so this can focus on him, Harry, D.J., and Stephanie. He helps Harry forgive Stephanie, while D.J. helps Stephanie forgive Harry – by faking everything from Harry's begging to Stephanie's forgiveness to their "chief" nicknames and handshakes. And then they really forgive each other and then "tag" each other out of the room.
When Danny confronts Joey, they remember the day when they became friends in the 5th grade in 1968, when they protected each other from a bully named Sheldon. When Danny and Joey head to the school where this had happened 21 years before, they play some basketball in the gym, and then literally unearth a time capsule they buried that year.
It contains Danny's old Giants cap, Joey's first joke book, and, of all things, the pledge they signed, which was a pledge to always be friends. Danny reminds Joey that things are not the same as they were before, because, with Jesse and Joey working together now, Joey may have forgotten about his initial friendship with Danny. Joey apologizes for taking their friendship for granted. Then, he and Danny call Jesse to the school so Jesse can add his name to the pledge; they then put the cap and book back into the time capsule, and, with Jesse's name on the pledge, they add his hair dryer to the time capsule and bury it again, with Jesse remarking if his hair looks like hail tomorrow, he is going to come back to the school and dig it up again. Danny suggests that they do the "old Soul Brother handshake", but Jesse does not think that it is a good idea, so Danny decides they just plain hug each other, and all three of them opt to do the handshake.
[The opening teaser: In D.J. & Stephanie 's bedroom...]
D.J.: [opens up a magazine] Now, you're never too young to learn who's cute and who's not. [walks over to a full-shot George Michael poster on the closet, similar to the close-up poster under her bed panel] Now Michelle, this is George Michael.
D.J.: He was cute when he was with Wham!. He's graduated to rad.
D.J.: [walks back over to the bed and opens the magazine they were just looking at] Now, this is Michael J. Fox. The bad news is he's married. The good news is he's our size. Now, out of all these pictures, pick the cutest guy.
Michelle: [picking one out of a picture book] Big Bird.
D.J.: Big Bird? No one even knows if he's a guy.
[Michelle kisses the picture.]
[After the guys come home from work through the back door, the girls come home from school through the front door.]
D.J.: Dad, we're home.
Michelle: Stop! Dirt bad.
D.J.: No. Dad taught Michelle the Tanner family motto.
Danny: Deej, I'm working on a new Tanner family motto: 'Don't make fun of Dad until you can afford your own apartment.' Okay, here we go, Michelle [preparing to leave]. [She puts her squeegee in the caddy.] Good girl.
Stephanie: Come on, Harry, let's do our math homework.
Harry: Forget it. I can't learn subtractions. I'm gonna quit school and join the Boy Scouts.
Stephanie: I don't want my boyfriend to be a first-grade dropout. How embarrassing.
D.J.: Okay, look. You have four oranges – and then you take away two. How many do you have left?
D.J.: That's subtraction. Very good, Harry.
Harry: Thanks, D.J. You're the smartest woman in the world.
Stephanie: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. Four minus two. Real genius.
Harry: D.J., can you tell me where babies come from?
D.J.: Harry... stick to fruit.
[Jesse likes the idea of making Joey's room the place for their new office, but doesn't like what's in the room.]
Jesse: Joey, this is not fun to me. It's like working in Pee-wee's Playhouse.
Joey: [as Pee-wee Herman] That's right, boys and girls. And today's secret word is... 'office'.
Jesse: Joey, I'm serious.
Joey: I know you are, but what am I? [Adds the Pee-wee laugh.]
Jesse: All right! I give up with you.
Danny: [coming down with Michelle] I like what you've done with your 'office' [the secret word].
Joey & Jesse: 'Office!' Ahhh!
Jesse: [laughs] Joseph, you are a knucklehead!
Joey: Oh, come on now. [doing the motions for his catchphrase:] Cut [scissor fingers] it [index finger points] out [thumb motion – like an umpire].
[The phone rings.]
Michelle: Hello. ... Hi, man. ... Hold on. Jesse!
Jesse: Well, it looks like we found ourselves a secretary. Thank you, Michelle. Hello. Double J Creative Services, J speaking. Joey, it's the boss. Yes, sir. What's up, Mr. Malatesta? ... Oh, no. ... Oh, no.
Joey: What's wrong?
Jesse: Oh, we got a major crisis with the Chippy Chunk-nut Cookie account. It seems they found more chunk-nuts than chippies in the chewy chocolates, so all the chewy chocolate chippy chunk-nuts have to be called Nutty-Chewy Chunk Chips.
Joey: How can they do that?
Danny: How can they say that?
[Harry comes by.]
Harry: Hi, ladies.
D.J.: Hi, Harry.
Stephanie: Oh, Harry. An 'I love you' lollipop. You are so sweet.
Harry: Thank you. It's for D.J.
Stephanie: You're in love with D.J.? Harry Takayama! How can this be true?
Harry: Sorry, chief, but ever since yesterday, all I wanna do is subtract. [gives it to D.J.] Wanna have lunch tomorrow?
D.J.: Uh, thanks for asking, Harry, but lucky for me, I'm having lunch with Kimmy tomorrow.
Harry: No problem. I'll bring a friend. We'll double. See you, honey.
D.J.: Oh, Harold, honey? Harold?
Harry: Bye, chief.
Stephanie: Don't call me 'chief'. [to her sister] You rat! You skunk! You skunky rat! You stole my man! [She storms off.]
D.J.: Man? I have Ken Dolls bigger than him.
[In D.J. & Stephanie's bedroom, Michelle's crib sits where Stephanie's bed once was. As D.J. enters the room, she's shocked by the change.]
Michelle: Hi, D.J.
D.J.: Michelle, what are you doing in here?
Michelle: I don't know.
Stephanie: [entering the room] Here's the rest of your stuff, Michelle. Thanks for switching rooms with me.
D.J.: Stephanie, there's no way I'm sharing a room with a 2-year-old.
Stephanie: There's no way I'm sharing a room with a no-good, skunky, ratty, rotten, lame-oid boyfriend-stealer.
D.J.: Would you get off this? Harry's a first-grade kid with a crush on an attractive older woman.
Stephanie: Watch out, Michelle. She'll be your best buddy until you've got something she wants. And then nothing is safe.
D.J.: Michelle, don't believe her. You know you can trust me.
Michelle: My bunny [that she's holding].
D.J.: [to Jesse] Love is weird.
Jesse: Trust me, it gets a lot weirder.
Joey: [reading the pledge] This is to prove that on February 23, 1968, we pledge on our most sacred possessions to be soul brothers for life, even if one guy moves real far away. Right on. Get down. Stay funky. Signed, Daniel Ernest Tanner and Joseph Alvin Gladstone.
Danny: We have horrible middle names.
Joey: The worst. But we kept this pledge, didn’t we?
Danny: It’s amazing. When we were growing up, man, we did everything together.
Joey: We’re still doing everything together.
- The title of this episode is from the name of a 1957 film adapted from the 1940 musical play of the same name, which was based on the novel (also of the same name)
- The "argument" involving Stephanie and D.J. "stealing" Stephanie's boyfriend Harry happens again in "Crushed" (season 5) with Tommy Page (However, in it, both girls think that Tommy is their boyfriend, but in reality, he really wanted to be good friends with the both of them)
- Jesse calling Danny and Joey "Fred" and "Ethel" are references to Lucy and Desi's neighbors in I Love Lucy
- The episode has two of the biggest reactions from the studio audience in the series:
- When John Stamos (as Jesse) gives the "chewy chocolate chippy chunk-nuts..." tongue-twisting line (see Quotes) (it's unknown how many times it took before he got it right)
- When the second time the "secret word" is said and Jesse and Joey do the Pee-wee's Playhouse yell, then Michelle does it too
- The Lorimar Television logo cuts off the closing theme before it is completely finished playing