|Season 3, episode 15|
|Air date||December 22, 2017|
|Next||Happily Ever After|
Kimmy and Stephanie spend time together to bond over the surrogacy though Stephanie appears visibly annoyed with Kimmy's antics until the two sing "Miss Susie" and Stephanie compliments Kimmy and admits she is happy with her child having a little bit of Gibbler spunk in it.
Jackson hits Max with a basketball and Max throws it back at him and misses, breaking the head off of the statue in the living room (see Trivia). Ramona manages to repair the head but doesn't have time to glue it and it falls off. Though at first, D.J. appears to be upset and gives the kids the "mom stare" (see Trivia and Quotes), she is glad that the Ancient Mariner is broken as she found it creepy, no matter who's willing to take the blame (see Quotes).
D.J.'s attempts at a day of relaxation are interrupted by Mankowski and Larry, Taylor's dad, trying to win her over as both know that she is now single. Steve arrives and gives D.J. twelve roses as a countdown to the days remaining before they officially date just as Matt also arrives. Matt tells D.J. he is leaving Harmon-Fuller Pet Care to open Harmon Better Pet Care two block away while also rekindling his friendship with Steve.
[As the boys play basketball in the living room, Max throws the ball hard, it misses Jackson and hits the Ancient Mariner statue, causing the head to fall off. Ramona gasps at this.]
Jackson: Max! Look what you just did! [Max does look at what he just did, and screams in a high pitch.] The Ancient Mariner's been in the family for generations! Grandpa Danny bought it at a garage sale in 1908. You broke his head!
Ramona: And his nose.
Max: And his ear.
[After the kids glue the statue back together and sit on the couch and wait for D.J., she comes home.]
D.J.: Hey, guys. What's going on?
Jackson: Just being all non-chalant.
D.J.: [walks around] Hold on. Something's not right here. I felt it right here. It's not here (towards the laundry room side of the kitchen. It's there (at the statue)! [And indeed something's not right, as the statue's head falls off.]
Max: [gasps] What happened to our beloved Ancient Mariner?
D.J.: [marches over to confront them, head in hand] Yeah... What did happen?
Jackson: Max... don't look at her! She's giving you the "mom stare"! Look away! [But he gets a taste of it – and then some!]
Max: I can't! She's got me locked in!
Jackson: Stay strong!
Max: It burns! [Yes, it does.] Okay! I did it! I threw a ball in the house, and I knocked his head off.
Jackson: No, Max! Don't take the blame for me! I broke the Ancient Mariner.
Ramona: No, Jackson! Don't take the blame for Max! D.J. broke the Ancient Mariner. [But now she's getting a taste of the "mom stare"...and then some!] Whoa, that does burn! [Yep.] Oh, okay! I broke it! And I had nothing to do with it!
D.J.: Okay, everybody relax! The thing is... this thing's totally creepy!
- The first episode to reveal the name of the statue in the living room to be The Ancient Mariner (as it was never addressed, mentioned, or shown close-up in the parent series)
- D.J.'s "mom stare" is similar to the "dad face" from in the original series (in "D.J. Tanner's Day Off" [season 1 finale—by all the guys in the same episode—but not all at once], in "Joey Gets Tough" [2.7], and by Jesse in "Lust in the Dust" [3.15; to Michelle])
- Fernando getting Tommy ready for a "big boy" bed takes cues from two episodes from the original: "Granny Tanny" (3.5; where Michelle's crib is replaced by a pencil bed), and "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" (7.1; where Nicky and Alex's cribs are replaced by race car beds)
- The term "soul sister" originally was used by African-American women to refer to each other—most-notably used in the song "Lady Marmalade" (1974 & 2001), but has come to mean "a woman whose thoughts, feelings, and attitudes closely match those of another"