|Stephanie's Wild Ride|
|Season 8, episode 9|
|Air date||November 29, 1994|
|Writer(s)||Adam I. Lapidus|
|Previous||Claire and Present Danger|
|Next||Under the Influence|
Stephanie and Gia Mahan are at the mall having ice cream when Gia notices a couple of cute guys. Gia whistles and gets the two to come over to their table. They introduce themselves as Jason and Barry, and wanting to not appear too young, Gia lies and tells them that they are in the same grade as them but at a private school.
D.J. and Kimmy Gibbler happen to be at the food court as well. Jason and Barry recognize them from their school and ask Stephanie why she goes to a private high school instead of their school. Stephanie, nervously, answers that their dad had a coupon. Stephanie pulls them away and pleads for them not to blow it for her. D.J. and Kimmy agree they will not tell, as long as Stephanie does not insult Kimmy for a week. When she comes back, Gia says that Jason and Barry went to get their car to give them a ride home.
Michelle, again, tells Jesse that she can take the video game from here, but he still denies. Nicky and Alex cheer him on from the sidelines. Joey comes in and assists Jesse with his playing. Becky and Danny enter the room, and soon all the adults are begging to play the game before they chow down (see Quotes).
Stephanie, Gia, Jason, and Barry are in the car, taking a shortcut. They start speeding up after saying that—to make the ride shorter—they should go faster. They also drive in the left lane instead of the right while a truck comes up. Jason pretends the steering wheel is locked, causing the girls to scream. All four of them are having fun except Stephanie, as Gia convinces her friend to lighten up. Once Stephanie gets home, she tells D.J. of her "wild ride", but D.J. isn't happy (see Quotes). They eventually drop the subject, and Stephanie asks if anyone noticed she's late. She goes into the living room and says hi, but everyone is still interested in the game.
After landing on the Pond of Peace, D.J. interrupts their fun and tells them to eat dinner (see Quotes). They eat very quickly (as does Comet) and come right back to the game when they are finished. Stephanie and D.J. stay in the kitchen to do the dishes until Gia comes through the back door and tells Stephanie that Jason's outside with his car. Stephanie asks Danny if she can go out, to which he says yes, as long as she is back by 9:00 pm. But D.J.'s not about to let history repeat itself tonight (see Quotes). Stephanie, feeling the wrath of her sister's threat to tell Danny, has no choice but to comply with her sister's order to stay home.
The others are still playing the game. Jesse, Danny, and Joey start fighting over the controller until Becky takes it out of their hands. They all begin to grab for it, but then Michelle pulls the game out, ending their progress. They stop what they are doing at once and confront her, but she tells them she needed to stop the madness, which Nicky and Alex agree with her about. Jesse also realizes that Nicky and Alex are right, and Danny thanks Michelle for snapping them out of the obsession they had gotten into. They all go back to their regular lives, while Michelle starts to play the game.
Later that night in her room, Stephanie is studying as D.J. enters. As both go at each other's throats about why D.J. warned Stephanie of the consequences of going on another joyride, Danny interrupts them and tells Stephanie that Gia was in a car accident with Jason and Barry (see Quotes and Video).
When Danny leaves, Stephanie apologizes. D.J. tells her that all young people do stupid things and launches into a story of when D.J. and Kimmy hitchhiked. After they hug (shown in infobox photo), Stephanie then decides to tell Danny what was really going on. Knowing that he will be mad, she also tells D.J. she will soften him up with her hitchhiking story, which leads to D.J. chasing her sister and former roommate out of her own room.
[In the opening teaser:]
Joey: Okay, boys, now tonight, Mr. Woodchuck's gonna help me tell you a story.
Mr. Woodchuck: Is it about... wood?
Joey: No, it's called the "Three Billy Goats Gruff".
Alex: That's our favorite story.
Joey: Okay. Once upon a time, there were three...
Mr. Woodchuck: ...woodchucks!
Nicky: No, billy goats.
[Michelle is playing a video game and Nicky & Alex come running in.]
Alex: Can we play?
Michelle: Guys, Montezuma's Quest is a very complicated game. It takes timing, skill, and plenty of brain power.
Video game: You have failed! Ha ha ha!
Nicky & Alex: You have failed! Ha ha ha!
[Jesse enters the room.]
Michelle: Uncle Jesse, can you help me with this video game?
Jesse: Oh, Michelle, I'm sorry. Video games have never really been my thing. Now, pinball! There's a game.
Michelle: What's pinball?
Jesse: 'What's pinb...'? You don't know what pinball is? Haven't you ever heard of Tommy?
Michelle: Who's right?
Jesse: No. Who's on first?
Michelle: Let me guess: Tommy?
Jesse: No. I'm just kidding ya. It's an old Abbott and Costello routine.
Kimmy: Hey, you're the losers who drilled the peephole in the girls' locker room.
Jason: You're the reason we plugged it up. [The guys shake hands.]
Kimmy: That hole works both ways, zit butt.
[Jesse and Joey are still playing.]
Video game: Danger! Danger!
Jesse: Advice! Advice!
Joey: Uhh... Eat the power biscuit. [Crunching and burp sounds are heard.] That was tasty.
[Becky and Danny enter.]
Becky: Okay boys, time to wash your little hands for dinner.
Joey: Oh... We're still playing.
Jesse: Yeah, five more minutes, please?
Becky: Not you. Nicky and Alex. C'mon guys!
[Nicky and Alex walk in front of the TV. Jesse and Joey shoo them away.]
Danny: Michelle, you've been playing this game for hours, honey.
Michelle: I'm not exactly doing much playing.
Jesse: What's that? What is that?
Video game: Mayday! Mayday! Losing power!
Jesse: 'Losing power'. Joey, give me power. I need power! Give me power!
Joey: [voice of Scotty from Star Trek:] Alright, captain! I'm givin' her all I got! She can't take much more! We've got to find that second key! [Michelle rolls her eyes.]
Danny: Why don't you empty that nuclear waste can? It's starting to bubble.
[Joey does so, and fanfare trumpets blast from the TV, causing surprised looks from both him and Jesse.]
Joey: Wow Danny! That's it! We got the second key!
[D.J. is in the kitchen setting the table for dinner, as Stephanie enters through the back door.]
Stephanie: Deej, I just had the greatest time of my whole life!
D.J.: Hey, it's Sweet Sixteen. You kids grow up so fast.
Stephanie: For your information, those guys gave us a ride home in the coolest car.
D.J.: You got in a car with Beavis and Butthead?
Stephanie: They happen to be great guys! And they are so funny! First, Jason drove on the wrong side of the road, and then, he pretended like the steering wheel was locked! We came this close to a truck.
D.J.: Wow, does he have an older brother? Maybe we could all double-date and drive off a cliff together.
Stephanie: Jason's a very good driver. He's had his license for almost three months.
D.J.: And it never dawned on you that you could get hurt?
Stephanie: What's with you? Haven't you ever been 16?
D.J.: I have. You haven't. Remember?
Stephanie: It's no big deal. I went out and had some fun.
D.J.: Fine. You're home. Let's just drop it.
Stephanie: Did anyone notice I'm late?
D.J.: See for yourself.
Stephanie: [opens the door into the living room] Hey, guys! [Their eyes are all glued to the TV, playing the game, so they simply wave and say "hey" back.]
[D.J. comes in, and calls everyone for dinner.]
D.J.: I hate to interrupt this moment of tranquility, but I really don't feel like eating alone at a table set for nine.
Danny: Yeah, D.J.'s right. It might be a good time to take a break from our little quest, noble as it is.
Jesse: Yeah, let's just put the game on pause. [to Becky] Honey! Put the game on pause! We'll come back after we have a nice leisurely dinner.
[Danny, Joey, Jesse, and Becky are eating dinner very quickly, so they can get back to the video game.]
Jesse: Game time! [They get up and leave.]
D.J.: Thank you. I'll do the dishes. Don't worry about a thing. Buh-bye. Buh-bye, now.
[Gia invites Stephanie out for another joyride. Stephanie grabs her coat and purse and starts to leave.]
Stephanie: That was almost too easy. [A little too easy.]
D.J.: [as she blocks her sister's exit] Steph... are you sure you wanna do this?
Stephanie: Let me think about it. Thinking... Thinking... I'm outta here! [She goes around her sister...]
D.J.: [...who seizes the chance to snatch both items out of her sister's hand as she tries to leave.] Steph, you're not going.
Stephanie: What are you talking about?
D.J.: I'm sorry, I can't let you go.
Stephanie: Gia, tell the guys to hang. I'll be right out.
Gia: I thought you said your sister was cool.
Stephanie: She used to be. [Gia exits out the door, while Stephanie confronts her sister.] Deej, forget it! There's no way you can make me stay!
D.J.: I'll tell Dad.
Stephanie: Okay, there's one way. I can't believe you'd squeal on me!
D.J.: I can't believe you'd put me in this position!
Stephanie: What about all those times you snuck in after curfew and I never said a word?!
D.J.: That's different. This is dangerous!
[Danny, Joey, Jesse, and Becky all fight for the video game controller. After walking over to the game console, Michelle takes out the cartridge – without even hitting the eject button or turning the console off!]
Danny, Jesse, Becky & Joey: Hey!
Michelle: Game over.
Danny: Michelle, why did you do that?
Michelle: I had to stop the madness. Look at you! You were fighting over a silly game. You oughta be ashamed.
Alex: Shame on you!
Nicky: Double shame!
Jesse: The boys are right. I mean, we were completely obsessed over this thing.
Danny: Yeah. Michelle, thank you for snapping us out of it. I don't know, I just kind of got in and I zoned out and I didn't know what was happening. It's like when I empty Joey's hamper.
Joey: You know what? I think we just need to get back to our normal lives around here. I'm gonna go play with Mr. Woodchuck.
Becky: Tell him I said 'hi' [Joey leaves].
Jesse: Thanks, Michelle.
Becky: Thanks, Michelle.
Danny: Yeah, thanks [kisses Michelle].
[Upstairs, Stephanie is studying when D.J. walks in.]
D.J.: Steph, we need to talk about this (joyriding).
Stephanie: There's nothing to talk about. You just hate to see me have fun.
D.J.: Oh yeah, Steph, that's real bright. [sarcastically] Yeah, the first thing on my mind when I wake up is, 'How can I make Steph miserable today?'
Stephanie: So you admit it.
D.J.: Oh, you're losing it.
[They start talking at the same time:]
Stephanie: No Deej, you don't understand. I was having fun and I was--
D.J.: No, you don't understand. You can't just get in a car with somebody you don't know--
Danny: [enters and intervenes] Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Take it easy. Whatever this is about, it can wait, Okay? [He and Stephanie sit down on her bed.] Um, Steph, I just got off the phone with Gia's mom. She was in a car accident tonight.
Stephanie: [shocked] No. [sighs] She OK?
Danny: Well, she got some bumps and some bruises, and she's gonna be in the hospital overnight. [...] She was with two other guys, and one of them broke his leg and got cut up pretty badly. They were really lucky they were wearing their seat belts; the car was totaled. Didn't you say something about going out tonight?
Stephanie: Yeah, but...
D.J.: [answering for her]...but when Gia showed up with those guys, Steph decided not to go.
Stephanie: I could've been in that car.
D.J.: But you weren't.
Stephanie: Thanks to you.
Stephanie: You hitchhiked?! What are you, nuts? That's so dangerous.
D.J.: Well... I know that now, but back then I was young and stupid like you.
Stephanie: So how do you get to be old and smart?
D.J.: Well, after a while you just get this little voice inside that tells you when something's dangerous... and if you're lucky you learn to listen to it.
Stephanie: I think I heard that voice before I got in the car with those guys. ... It sounded a lot like Dad.
- The episode title is a play on the Disneyland attraction Mr. Toad's Wild Ride
- Marla Sokoloff (Gia) played a character in an episode of the drama series 7th Heaven (1998), who was also injured in a car accident
- Claire is mentioned in this episode.
- The game that the family becomes addicted to, Montezano's Quest, is likely a take on Montezuma's Revenge (video game)
- The console used is a Super NES
- Goof: Stephanie was at school when she was picked up by the high-schoolers and came home with them; however, when they come over later that day Stephanie says it is Saturday (she was also wearing the same clothes)