|Tanner vs. Gibbler|
|Season 2, episode 2|
|Air date||October 21, 1988|
|Previous||Cutting It Close|
|Next||It's Not My Job|
D.J. is planning a birthday party for Kimmy Gibbler, who is turning 12. She is inviting some of their closest friends and has already made out a list of the party foods and drinks that will be served: Grape soda, orange soda, caramel corn, cherry licorice, and ice cream.
Then, the phone rings and Danny answers it. It is his boss, Mr. Strowbridge. He asks Danny to come in as he has "big news". Danny is anxious to know what the big news is, excited that it may be "good news", but afraid it may be "bad news". Joey thinks that he is crazy.
Stephanie brings out a couple of dresses and asks D.J. which will look better on her at the party (see Quotes).
When Kimmy comes by to take D.J. to school, she reminds her about their original plan to go to the movies. But then, Stephanie slips up on the real plan and angers her sister (see Quotes).
Meanwhile, Danny, anxious to hear the "big news" his boss promised him, is going to get it in the form of both bad and good news. The bad news is, he panics when he's removed from his job as a sportscaster at the TV station. The good news is, it turns out that the station has created a new local morning show entitled Wake Up, San Francisco, and they need two people to host the new show. Danny is named as one of the hosts, while his co-host for the new show is Rebecca Donaldson, who had moved to San Francisco from her hometown of Valentine, Nebraska many years ago, after coming off her two-year success in A.M. Omaha.
Later that night, the party is underway with the bulk of the guests already there. But before it can really begin, Michelle and Stephanie interrupt (see Quotes).
After that, the real surprise guest shows up, along with two new friends from junior high, Nina and Melissa. Kimmy thinks that having older friends will make her look cool. However, upon arriving, all that those two girls want to do is invite a bunch of friends over to trash the house. When D.J. makes the two teens leave, Kimmy decides to go with them, leaving D.J. shocked that Kimmy would leave her own party. That starts a feud between D.J. and Kimmy (see Quotes).
The next day, upstairs in their room, Stephanie is playing "school" with herself as the "teacher" and every doll and stuffed animal as her "class". When D.J. comes in, she rejects her sister's offer to join in (see Quotes).
Later, Danny wants everyone to watch a tape of the new show – although Stephanie says not to play it until Jesse comes home (so he won't miss it). Danny then realizes he doesn't have the tape, but he's saved as Becky has a copy of her own, which she takes out of her bag just as Jesse walks through the front door. After both have a little chat in the kitchen, everyone gathers in the living room, Danny plays the tape, noting he's nervous on his first show. While the family views the tape – and Danny keeps asking what everyone thinks – Michelle does what everyone else feels like doing and grabs the remote and stops the tape. A cartoon shows up – which Stephanie and Joey are particularly happy about.
Later that day, Kimmy comes by to collect her birthday presents (see Quotes). Both she and D.J. realize that if they do not make up sooner or later, their friendship will come to a stop and they will not be able to do anything together anymore. They eventually make up, hug each other, and open her presents. They even decide that maybe she would like to exchange those presents at the mall for better ones.
The opening teaser: Michelle is riding her rocking horse as Jesse and Joey watch nearby.
- Jesse: Michelle, you wanna go sleepy?
- Michelle: No.
- Joey: What do you wanna do? Stay up all night?
- Michelle: No.
- Jesse: Is Mr. Horsey, tired?
- Michelle: No.
- Joey: Are you gonna say anything but 'no'?
- Michelle: No.
- Joey: What's your favorite James Bond movie? Would it happen to be Doctor...?
- Michelle: No.
- Jesse: Well, Joseph, it seems like we're unable to put a 2-year-old to bed.
- Joey: Is it possible she's smarter than us?
- Michelle: Yes.
In the kitchen, at breakfast time...
- Stephanie: D.J., which one of these  dresses [white bridal or blue with a small pink bow-tie] will I look cuter in at your party?
- D.J.: Steph, you wouldn't like this party. It's gonna be a bunch of 6th-graders.
- Stephanie: In that case, I'll wear this one [white bridal]. It makes me look older.
- D.J.: Let me say this is as nice as I can: [sticking up her index finger] you're in 1st grade, [adding the 5 fingers of her other hand] and all the kids at this party are in the 6th grade.
- Stephanie: [doing the same with her hands] What if I... bring five other 1st-graders?
- D.J.: OK, I've tried to be nice. Uncle Jesse!
- Stephanie: Joey! She won't let me go to her party!
- D.J.: You're not coming. You're too young.
- [Arguing at the same time, the guys come in and pull them away from each other.]
- Jesse: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it. Neutral corners. D.J. first.
- D.J.: She thinks she's coming to my party.
- Stephanie: I do think that.
- Joey: Steph, I have a great idea. Why don't we have our own super-duper party upstairs? Doesn't that sound like fun?
- Stephanie: Does it sound like fun to you?
- D.J.: Thanks, guys.
- Kimmy: A surprise party for me? All right!
- D.J.: [to Stephanie] You're dead meat.
- Kimmy: Don't worry, D.J. I'll act surprised. Can I invite my two new friends from karate class, Nina and Melissa?
- D.J.: It's your surprise party. You can invite whoever you want.
- Stephanie: I'm free tonight. Invite me.
- D.J.: Bye, guys.
- Kimmy: Bye, everybody.
- Stephanie: Don't have to answer that now. Think it over! How rude.
The guests are gathered in the living room for the big birthday bash.
- D.J.: It's party time! [Michelle comes in carrying a big bowl of pretzels.] Almost. Michelle, you're supposed to be in the kitchen, not carrying around pretzels. [The bowl slips and the pretzels spill out. Michelle starts picking them up.] It's okay, Michelle. I'll clean it up.
- Jesse: Michelle! Oh, you little... What are you doing here? What happened? All right, come on [starts to carry her away]. D.J. [motioning her over, and whispering:] This is a party. Why is everyone so quiet?
- D.J.: They think you're cute.
- Jesse: [they wave and he waves back] Where were they when I was 12?
- D.J.: Not born. [back to normal voice] Bye.
- Jesse: Bye-bye.
The doorbell rings.
- D.J.: Oh, that's Kimmy. Everyone get ready [as she goes to open the door].
- Everyone: Surprise!
- Stephanie: [standing at the front door in her party dress] For me? You shouldn't have.
- D.J.: We didn't. What are you doing down here?
- Stephanie: I just went to check the mail. Nothing yet. [sees the pretzels on the floor] Ah, pretzels. Don't mind if I do.
- D.J.: Well, I mind if you do. Stephanie, please go upstairs.
- Stephanie: Oh, dear me, I almost forgot. I do have a super-duper party waiting for me upstairs. [to the guests] Hello, what a pretty sweater. Love your hair. We must do this again sometime. [And upstairs she goes.]
- Nina: We wouldn't miss a party for our new pal, Kammy.
Nina and Melissa decide to make a phone call, and when Melissa dials "Duke's" number...
- D.J.: Before you call any Dukes, do you mind telling me what you're doing?
- Nina: Don't worry. In an hour we'll have 50 or 60 kids here.
- Melissa: Hello, Duke. [to D.J.] What's the address here?
- D.J.: [grabbing the phone out of Melissa's hand] Hello, Duke? This is a prank call [and hangs up].
- Melissa: What a dweeb.
- D.J.: Hey, this party isn't for you and your friends. It's a party for Kimmy and her friends.
- Kimmy: D.J., you're messing everything up. Don't you get it? They're in junior high.
- D.J.: Who cares?
- Nina: This is the land of the lame. Come on, Kimmy, let's get out of here.
- D.J.: Kimmy, wait. You can't leave your own birthday party.
- Kimmy: You can't tell me what to do.
- D.J.: I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just saying don't act dumb.
- Kimmy: Oh, now I'm dumb.
- Melissa: You are if you stay here.
- Nina: Come on, the mall's open 'til 9.
- [And they exit, leaving D.J. and the other guests shocked and speechless.]
In D.J. & Stephanie’s bedroom, Stephanie is playing "school", with herself as the "teacher", and her dolls and stuffed animals as her "class".
- Stephanie: There will be no talking in class. Everyone turn to page... [cut to the "class"] Mr. Bear (see Trivia), if it's so funny, why don't you share it with everybody? [D.J. enters.] Hi, D.J. Wanna play school?
- D.J.: No. I wanna quit school.
- Stephanie: Is that because you ate lunch by yourself today?
- D.J.: I wasn't eating by myself. I was eating alone. There's a big difference.
- Stephanie: Any questions, class? [cut to Mr. Bear] Yes, Mr. Bear? Mr. Bear wants to know why all the kids in school were calling you a "geekburger."
- D.J.: Mr. Bear is going to the principal's office. [She opens up the toy chest, grabs Mr. Bear, drops him inside, and closes it.]
- Stephanie: That's the cafeteria. I told them you weren't a "geekburger". Then they called me "geekburger junior". How rude!
- D.J.: It's all Kimmy's fault. She hates my guts because I wouldn't let her friends take over the party and wreck my house. Now she turned the whole school against me.
- Stephanie: Don't feel bad. I know you're not a "geekburger".
- D.J.: Thanks. And you're not a "geekburger junior".
- Stephanie: Thanks back. But until this blows over... I think I'll change my name ... to... Connie Chung.
In the kitchen, as Jesse gets Becky something to drink...
- Becky: You remind me of Corky.
- Jesse: [talking like Elvis and doing the sneer] Yeah. See, people tell me... [normal voice] Corky?
- Becky: My little baby brother. He used to do that same cute Elvis voice.
- Jesse: I remind you of your little baby brother?
- Becky: Yeah, it's uncanny. Corky and I would go up to Sutter's Pond to catch frogs. And he would always say: [now, she does her Elvis impression] 'Come on, little froggy mama.'
On the tape of the first show of Wake Up, San Francisco:
- Becky: Good morning.
- Danny: It's time to Wake Up, San Francisco. I'm Danny Tanner.
- Becky: And I'm Rebecca Donaldson.
- Danny: And we'd like to know all your names but we're only an hour show and we've only got one phone [laughs].
- Danny on TV: Rebecca comes to us from two years as host of A.M. Omaha. [to Becky] Isn't Nebraska one of the Plains states?
- Becky on TV: Well, Danny, we have tried to decorate it [Joey and others laugh].
- Danny: You didn't laugh at my joke.
- Stephanie: We're laughing inside.
- Joey: Yeah, kind of an internal thing.
- Danny: [on the video] This is so great. This is so much better than reading sports scores and interviewing sweaty guys.
- [Suddenly, the tape stops.]
- Stephanie: Cartoons!
- Danny: Michelle! You just turned off Daddy's new show. [She sticks her tongue out at him, and everyone else laughs. He grabs the remote.]
- Stephanie: Dad, wait!
- Joey: Yeah, this is a good one. [Danny gives him a look, and he looks back at Danny.] It's okay. I've already seen it.
- Joey: [to D.J.] You know, I know why you're so upset. Because the people that can hurt you the most are the people you love the most. Take me and Jesse, for example.
- Jesse: Is that the best example?
- Joey: It just kind of popped out.
- Jesse: Just kidding. No, he's right. Here. Here's a perfect story. Just last week, Joey taped over my favorite Elvis video with Pee-wee's Playhouse. I mean, tell me, how would you like to be sitting there watching 'the King' and all of a sudden he's singing, 'You ain't nothing but a hound dog...' 'I know you are, but what am I?' The point is, Joey made a mistake, but I forgave him. Erasing a friendship is a lot worse than erasing a tape.
- D.J.: Well, I still think she's a nerd bomber.
- Joey: D.J., do you remember your beat-up, old, flat soccer ball that I accidentally threw away?
- D.J.: You mean the one I scored my first goal with?
- Joey: Yeah, that one.
- D.J.: Yeah, I remember. I was so mad at you.
- Joey: See, you're not mad at me anymore.
- D.J.: No.
- Joey: Well, see... D.J., if you hadn't forgiven me, we would've missed out on all the good times we've had between then and now. And all the good times we're gonna have. You know what I'm saying?
- D.J.: You're saying give Kimmy another chance.
- Joey: Sure. Part of having a best friend is being a best friend. Let the hurt go away, not Kimmy.
- Stephanie: D.J., Kimmy Gibbler's downstairs.
Kimmy comes over and D.J. thinks that she came to apologize, but she came to get her presents.
- D.J.: If you don't apologize, then how can I forgive you?
- Kimmy: Forgive me for what? ... getting kicked out of my own party?
- D.J.: I didn't kick you out! You left!
- Kimmy: Because you embarrassed me in front of Nina and Melissa.
- D.J.: What's wrong with you? I can't believe you'd rather be friends with girls who really aren't your friends than friends with a girl who already was your friend.
- Kimmy: I don't know what you just said, but same to you, geekburger.
- D.J.: Don't call me that, Kimmy Gobbler!
- Kimmy: Double geekburger with cheese!
- D.J.: I hate you!
- Kimmy: I hate you, too! Mail me my presents. [She storms out, when...]
- D.J.: Wait. You can't leave. How could you call me all those names in school?
- Kimmy: I wasn't the only one. Everybody was calling you... well, you know, the G-word.
- First time Kimmy's birthday is celebrated
- The only appearances of Kimmy's party-crashing classmates, Melissa and Nina
- First appearance of Mr. Strowbridge, Danny and Rebecca's boss
- First appearance of Becky
- First time Jesse and Becky meet
- First episode to use the season two intro
- First appearance of Mr. Bear
- First episode to feature the Lorimar Television music
- The cartoon that Michelle inadvertently changes to is ThunderCats (1985 TV series)
- The lines "I think we really helped the kid out, huh, Ozzie?" (Joey), "We sure did, Harriet" (Jesse) are allusions to the ABC sitcom The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet (1952–1966)