|The Big Three-O|
|Season 1, episode 11|
|Air date||December 11, 1987|
|Writer(s)||Gene Braunstein & Bob Perlow|
|Next||Our Very First Promo|
Danny is turning 30 years old, and he says he does not want any surprises, but the other family members end up throwing a surprise party for him anyway. At breakfast, Joey warns Stephanie that she had better not spill the beans, as she did so when he turned 29 (about a year before the series began), as pointed out by D.J. Stephanie then remarks that she was only 4 years old at the time (she's 5 now). She then asks how much is "the big three-O", and he demonstrates using the cereal box, and his entire bowl is full of Oatsies (the cereal). Then, Jesse brings in Michelle, the "Goodyear Birthday Blimp" (see Trivia and Quotes).
Danny comes downstairs, and they surprise him with the greeting, but he says he does not turn 30 until 8:15, and then finds out that it is now 8:20. The surprise gift is: "D.J., Stephanie and Michelle's Coupon Book". In it is a coupon for the older girls to change Michelle's diapers, and another one is for them to give his car, Bullet, a free wash. He then remarks that Bullet was a gift from Pam on his 20th birthday. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it is another surprise gift: A limo ride, and the girls even get to ride in it to school.
Jesse and Joey decide to come up with a surprise of their own: Jesse volunteers to go get seat covers for Bullet. Later, despite Danny's objections, they have a surprise party for him.
Danny eventually gets a huge surprise: Bullet rolls into the San Francisco Bay (much to the shock of the audience; see Quotes and infobox photo). It was all Jesse's fault because of where he was when he was shopping for Danny's present. When Danny sees it for himself, he seemingly takes it as if it were nothing, even though it is bothering him a lot. Later when reading to Michelle, he reflects on his life, falling into a crisis on getting older.
But, Jesse and Joey come together and end up getting him a new car, an exact duplicate of Bullet. They get into a bidding war with an unknown person on the phone calling the dealership (not knowing it's Danny on the other end bidding with Stephanie and DJ) as a surprise, and apologize. Danny decides that it is time for a gift to the family: the first ride in his brand new car (as The Beatles' hit, "Drive My Car", plays throughout).
Like in the opening credits, the ending starts with a close-up of Michelle (see Trivia) and then fades to a zoom-out to the Golden Gate Bridge (which continues into the EP credits).
- Joey: All right, girls. Now, not one word about your dad's surprise party tonight, okay?
- D.J.: That means you, Steph.
- Stephanie: What makes you think I'm gonna tell him?
- D.J.: Because you blew Dad's surprise party last year.
- Stephanie: I was only 4. Give me a break!
- Joey: Steph, this is an important birthday. Your dad turns 'the big three-O'.
- Stephanie: How much more than five is 'the big three-O'?
- Joey: Well, here [picks up the box of Sugar Oatsies], I'll show you. This is you [fills her bowl about halfway]. And this is your daddy [pours it in his bowl to heaping and overflowing].
- Stephanie: Wow! He's almost a whole box old!
- Jesse: [bringing Michelle into the kitchen, with 3 helium-filled balloons attached to her.] Make way! It's the Goodyear birthday blimp! I had to take a couple balloons off. She was getting picked up by radar.
- D.J.: [taking a picture of Danny and Jesse hugging at the party with a Polaroid camera]: We'll call this the "before" picture. [...] [later, taking a picture of the totaled "Bullet" with the Polaroid camera] We'll call this the "after" picture.
- Danny: [to Michelle] What does Mr. Car say? You're right, he doesn't say anything – because he's dead.
- When Danny takes the family out for a ride in the new car, it uses the image of Michelle wearing sunglasses from the closing credits
- Jesse's "Goodyear Birthday Blimp" is a take on the famous Goodyear Blimp, usually seen at major league sporting events
- When Danny is in shock after seeing that his car is totaled, he says, "Maybe it just needs a little touch-up paint", which is similar to Joey's situation with his car (Rosie) in "Honey, I Broke the House", when he says, "don't you think I would've bought a bigger jar of touch-up paint?!"