| The Heartbreak Kid | |
| Season 6, episode 16 | |
 | |
| Air date | February 9, 1993 |
| Writer(s) | Cathy Jung |
| Director | Joel Zwick |
| Previous | Be True to Your Preschool |
| Next | Silence is Not Golden |
The Heartbreak Kid is episode sixteen of season six on Full House. It originally aired on February 9, 1993.
When Steve Hale gives six-year-old Michelle a Valentine's Day cookie and says she is his special Valentine, she takes it the wrong way...literally.
Plot summary
Michelle has fallen head over heels for Steve, and she decides that she wants to marry him. Everyone thinks that Michelle is just playing, so they throw a fake wedding for them. Michelle feels hurt when she discovers that it is not a real wedding, and this causes her to storm off in anger, leaving everyone in the living room shocked and speechless, and in more ways than one (as the audience groans about it). Despite Becky telling Michelle that if she does truly get married that she has to move out and not share Stephanie's room anymore (which actually elates Stephanie), and despite Michelle's pointing out that Jesse has not moved out despite him and Becky being married (and that most likely means permanently as Jesse's and Becky's move-out in "Fuller House was only temporary), everyone finally realizes that the way Michelle truly feels about Steve is not something to play around with.
Upstairs in her and Stephanie's room, as they sit on her bed (as inspirational music plays), Danny talks to his depressed and distraught daughter and admits that sometimes adults forget that kids do have feelings, and Steve apologizes for making Michelle feel hurt. Michelle cheers up a little bit and accepts the apology, and she and Steve are friends again as she finally accepts the reality and understands that D.J. is the girl Steve loves.
Meanwhile, Danny and Joey are cleaning Joey’s closet when Danny discovers a picture of Barbara Ann Varanelli, a girl Danny dated while he and Joey were in high school 20 years ago, and until now, he never knew that she had started dating Joey after she stopped dating him. Danny wants to know if Joey stole Barbara Ann from him 20 years ago, so he tracks down her phone number and calls Barbara Ann, who explains that the only reason why she ever dated Danny and Joey was to make Jesse jealous.
Jesse buys a laptop computer, and is reluctant to accept any help from anyone, until Nicky and Alex erase his report from the computer, and when he asks for Stephanie’s help, she recovers her uncle’s report, as his computer has a backup system.
Quotes
Danny: Hey, Deej, how’d your bake sale go?
D.J: Oh, it was great. Our class raised over fifty dollars. Of course, thirty-five of that was from Steve.
Steve: Yeah, and now I’m broke ‛cause I didn’t see that stupid sign: “You eat it, you bought it”.
Jesse: Steph, you brought my report back! That’s amazing! How’d you do that?
Stephanie: Simple. The automated backup system saves your document every 10 minutes.
Jesse: Stephanie, you’re a genius.
Stephanie: Well, I wouldn’t say that, but you’re more than welcome to.
Jesse: Steph, Nicky and Alex got into my computer and erased my entire paper! You gotta help me.
Stephanie: All right, everybody, step back. I’m gonna need plenty of hot water.
Joey: To fix a computer?
Stephanie: No, I just want some hot chocolate. (laughs a little)
Joey: Michelle, when you get married, you have to move away and leave your family. Is that what you really want?
Michelle: Uncle Jesse didn’t move away.
Joey: (shot down) Yeah, good point.
(after being 'rejected' by Steve)
Michelle: That was mean. Really mean. (throws down her bouquet in disgust and runs away; much to the shock, horror, and dismay of everyone else in the room)
Trivia
As of this episode, all three of the girls have been "married". The first being in "Middle Age Crazy", when Stephanie 'marries' Harry, and the second being in "Greek Week", when D.J. walks around the table three times with Sylvio (a Greek wedding).
Gallery
