|The Hole-in-the-Wall Gang|
|Season 4, episode 21|
|Air date||March 1, 1991|
|Writer(s)||Craig Heller & Guy Schulman|
|Next||Stephanie Plays the Field|
Picking up from where the teaser leaves off, Jesse enters his old room and informs Joey about the renovations to his and Becky's new home. Unfortunately, he didn't inform Danny, who was in the shower (see Gallery & Quotes).
Meanwhile, Stephanie wants to be just like D.J., so she starts dressing like her, and even acting like her. D.J. is trying on makeup with Kimmy. When D.J. notices Stephanie coming back into her room with her box of stuff (after sleeping in her "old room" that eventually became Joey's, after Jesse moved out last time), she can't believe she has to go back to sharing her room (see Quotes).
Later, after Stephanie redecorates her side of the room, Michelle comes in, with her little kiddie shopping cart. Stephanie gives her sister her "little kid stuff". But what is on Stephanie's side that Michelle really wants can't leave – the TV. When Kimmy and D.J. enter and see what Stephanie has done in terms of redecoration, they are speechless. But in terms of clothing and hairstyles, they are in utter shock and disbelief, as are Becky and Danny when they enter (see Quotes).
Later Kimmy invites D.J. to go to the mall with her. D.J. wants to wear something fun to the mall, so she, Kimmy, Stephanie, and Michelle head to Danny's bedroom, where D.J. starts looking for something to wear from his closet. After accusing each other as to who is really dressing like who, Stephanie tries to do the same thing, but when D.J. tries to stop her, they end up pulling down the rod that his shirts were hung on (eliciting an "Oh!" from the studio audience). Then, when they fight over who is going to put the rod back in the closet, they accidentally put a hole in the wall with it. That is when Kimmy goes home (see Quotes), and Michelle remarks her sisters will never learn from their mistake.
After they ask Michelle to stare at the wall while they think of a solution, the older girls go to the attic, where Jesse is renovating it, but he is not letting Joey do anything to help him. After Jesse explains how to fix a hole in a wall (with Joey signing, see Gallery) – not knowing why they want to know – D.J. and Stephanie sneak some supplies out of the attic. After that, an embarrassing mishap with his new Murphy bed forces Jesse to realize that he should've taken Joey's advice, instead of trying to do it by himself (see Quotes).
In Danny's room, D.J. and Stephanie fix the hole, paint it to try to match the color of the wall, move the dresser over to cover it up, put the rod back in the closet, and quickly hang everything back up before he gets home from work. They ask Michelle to stall his arrival, and she does everything she can to do so (see Quotes).
When Danny enters his room and sees the girls, they then try to come up with a "song and dance" right in front of him, to convince him that they are not in trouble in any way, shape, or form (which elicits applause from the audience). They continue singing it as they head to their room, with Michelle following right behind them and singing along, which surprises them as much as her entrance. She exits the room, singing.
That gives both older girls something to talk about in their heart-to-heart (complete with inspirational music). Then (just as the music stops), Michelle returns to their room dressed up like them (see Quotes & Gallery). Later, as Danny catches up on the two roommates and Michelle, he requests an encore of that "song and dance" they did when he got home and his wish is granted by them all, and he even sings along with them (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
[The opening teaser: Michelle helps Joey bring all his belongings into his new room.]
Joey: Okay, bring it in. Right this way. Be careful of the sides (of the doorway). Careful. Careful now. That's it.
Michelle: Where do you want Popeye?
Joey: Uh, put him next to Olive so Bluto can't get at her. [She does so.] Hey, thanks for being such a helper, Michelle. Can you believe I've finally moved into Uncle Jesse's old room?
Michelle: How come you play with dolls?
Joey: Michelle, I am a grown man. I do not play with dolls. However, I do make him dance. [And he does so with Popeye.] I make him walk. [He imitates Popeye's voice all the while.] He talks to me. 'How's it going, Joskeph?' I talk to him. 'Uh, not bad, Popeye.' [He does the Popeye laugh.] Whoa!
Michelle: Joey, you're playing with a doll!
Joey: Okay... you're right. I am playing with a doll – but in a manly way.
Michelle: Let's sing the Popeye song.
Joey: Okay. [singing] 'I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.'
Michelle: 'I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.'
Joey: 'I'm strong to the finish, 'cause I eats me spinach.'
Both: 'I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.'
Michelle: Toot-toot! Whoa.
Joey: [Does the Popeye laugh.]
Michelle: [Copies him doing the laugh (see Gallery).]
[Jesse enters what was his (and Stephanie's) room and is now Joey's.]
Jesse: Hey, Joey.
Jesse: I'm putting some new plumbing in the attic, so I had to turn off the main water line. I hope I'm not inconveniencing anyone.
[And in comes an angry Danny from the bathroom, wearing a bathrobe, a towel around his neck, and shampoo in his hair. The camera zooms up to his frowning face.]
Danny: Jess, one question: Did you wait until the shampoo was actually burning my eyes before you turned the water off?
Jesse: No, it's just dumb luck. Here, let me help you out there [grabs a squeegee from his toolbelt and begins attempting to wipe the shampoo off Danny's hair (see Gallery)].
[In D.J. and Stephanie's room, D.J. and Kimmy are trying out new makeup.]
Kimmy: So, Deej, what do you think of this orange lipstick?
D.J.: It's perfect if you're dating Ronald McDonald.
Stephanie: [entering the room with all her stuff] I'm ba-ack.
D.J. & Kimmy: Oh.
Stephanie: Thank you. You're too kind. [She sets her box down on her bed and dumps all her stuff on it as well.]
D.J.: I can't believe I'm sharing my room with an 8-year-old again.
Stephanie: [walks over to her sister's bed with a doll in her hand] Believe it, babe. [She sets the doll down on the bed.] Oh, neat. We're playing 'makeup'.
D.J.: We do not play 'makeup'. We wear makeup.
Kimmy: Yeah, kid. Go watch Sesame Street.
Stephanie: I do not watch Sesame Street. And besides, it's not on 'til 4:00.
D.J.: Well, now that you're back, remember the rules (from the series premiere) [hands the doll back to her]: Keep your baby stuff on your side of the room.
Stephanie: [puts the doll under her arm] I have no baby stuff [then inadvertently squeezes it].
Doll: Ma-ma! [She looks at the doll.]
D.J.: You were saying?
Stephanie: [to the doll] You couldn't keep your mouth shut?
[In the attic apartment, which is under construction:]
Jesse: [tries out the light switch, but...] Oh, you know what? I forgot to turn the electricity back on. Better go take care of that. I don't want to inconvenience anyone.
Danny: [enters with a hair dryer in his hand and wet hair] How do you time these things? Do you have a surveillance camera in my bathroom?
Jesse: Look, I realize I'm a little behind schedule, but this is my new home. I want to build this place with love, care, and old-world craftsmanship... same way my ancestors built the Parthenon.
Danny: The Parthenon is in ruins.
Jesse: That's what happens when you rush.
Becky: Honey, I know you want to take your time; but this is supposed to be our first home, not our retirement home.
Joey: You know, Jess, it would help speed up things if I helped you.
Jesse: No, thank you.
Becky: Joey, that is a great idea.
Danny: Thanks, Joey.
Joey: We are going to have such a great time.
Jesse: Alright, I'll find a little something for you to do. But be honest: do you have any experience in construction?
Joey: Are you kidding? I once built a four-bedroom ranch house.
Jesse: You did?
Joey: Yeah, I would've built the garage, but I ran out of Legos. [He laughs, but nobody else does.]
[In D.J. and Stephanie's room, Stephanie is on her side of the room as Michelle enters with her toy shopping cart.]
Stephanie: I redecorated my side of the room. What do you think?
Stephanie: Michelle, you're so young. Now that I'm almost a teenager, you can have my stuffed animals, my Barbie, my puppy poster; all my 'little kid' stuff [which she places into the cart].
Michelle: What about this 'little kid' TV?
Stephanie: Nice try, sis.
[Then D.J. and Kimmy enter, and are in total and utter shock and disbelief.]
D.J.: Oh, Mylanta.
Stephanie: Hello, ladies.
Kimmy: Look, Deej, it's your evil mini-twin.
Stephanie: Check it out, girls. I've got my side of the room jammin' (see Gallery).
D.J.: Why are you doing this to me?
Stephanie: What can I say? Mature minds think alike.
[Danny and Becky enter the room, and are also in shock.]
Danny: Girls, Becky and I have to go down to the station and...[He smiles.] Oh, would you look at those matching outfits! Isn't that adorable? You know what? This should be our next Christmas card.
[While Stephanie smiles at that, D.J.'s look suggests otherwise.]
Becky: Boy, I remember when I used to dress up like my older sister. She hated it.
[In Danny's room, D.J. wants to "borrow" from his closet.]
D.J.: Now, I'm just gonna get a shirt and tie, and then we'll be out of here. [She finds one with brown stripes.] This one looks good, and Dad's not scheduled to wear it until... [looks at the inside of cuff] next Thursday.
Stephanie: [wanting to do the same] I'm in luck! He has another one just like it.
D.J.: Forget it. There's no way you're going out of this house dressed like me.
Stephanie: Did you ever think that maybe you're the one dressing like me?
[They fight for control of the shirt.]
D.J.: Leave the shirt alone.
D.J.: Leave it alone! [And they pull hard enough to bring down the whole rod, causing Michelle's mouth to drop open wide.]
Michelle: [wagging her right finger] You're in big trouble, mister!
D.J.: [picks up the rod] Look what you did now! Now, get out of my way. I have to fix it.
Stephanie: No, I can fix it myself! [She grabs the other end.]
D.J.: Let go of it!
[They have a tug-of-war over the rod.]
Stephanie: No, you let go!
D.J.: I said, Let go!
[And letting go sends the rod into the wall, creating a hole. Michelle's mouth drops open wide again.]
Kimmy: Well, I can see by the old hole-in-the-wall, that it's time for me to go [and she leaves].
[After the break:]
D.J.: We're dead! Dad's gonna be home any minute! What are we going to do?
Stephanie: I know: let's blame Kimmy!
D.J.: That won't work! We have to fix the hole!
Stephanie: Right! We gotta fix that hole! Well? Go ahead.
D.J.: I don't know how to fix it! But I know someone who does. Stephanie, follow me.
Michelle: What about me?
D.J.: You stay right here and watch that hole.
Michelle: You got it, dude [with the thumb sign]. [She gets up and walks closer to the hole, keeping her eye on it. Cut to a close-up shot of the hole, then back to her.] I'm good at this.
[In the attic...]
Joey: Tuna. [He hands Jesse a tuna sandwich and lets him take a bite out of it.] You know, Jess, I can handle a lot more responsibility. Even Pat lets Vanna spin the Wheel once in a while.
Jesse: I'm gonna fix my wall bed over there. Joseph, electrical tape.
Joey: [sounding like Igor] Yes, master. Yes, I'll do your bidding, master. Here's your electrical tape, master. But please, don't level my hump.
Jesse: See, that's exactly the immature attitude that makes me the king of home improvement and you but the court jester.
Joey: [normal voice] OK, fine. Do it all yourself.
Jesse: Well, at least it'll be done right. [Cut to a close-up of his hands working on the wiring, and his mistake causes the Murphy bed to fold up, with him still in it (see Gallery)!] Oh, oh, oh! Joey! Help me! [He bangs on the bed.]
Joey: Hark! Is that the king asking the court jester for help? Sound the trumpets! [And he does so with his mouth.]
Jesse: [still banging] Joseph! Just get me outta here!
Joey: Is there a switch?
Jesse: Yeah, it's in my tool belt. I haven't put it in yet.
Joey: [sarcastically] Good planning, Your Majesty.
[D.J. and Stephanie have patched up the hole in the wall in Danny's room with just enough paint to completely cover it up (see infobox photo).]
D.J.: There. That oughta do it. Looks good to me.
Stephanie: You would never know a pole went through that wall.
Michelle: Are you nuts?
Stephanie: Michelle, don't stare right at it. If you glance at it real fast, you wouldn't even notice. Watch. [She shakes her head quickly.] Now you try it.
Michelle: [tries it] I still see it.
D.J.: Now, all we have to do is move everything else along this wall over to the right, and he'll never know we moved the dresser. Now, help me push.
Danny: [coming in the front door] Girls, I'm home!
Stephanie: He's home! We're dead! We're dead! We're dead!
D.J.: No, we're not dead yet. We can still pull this off. Now, Michelle, I'm gonna give you the most important job you've ever had.
Michelle: Do I gotta watch the hole again?
D.J.: No. You gotta go downstairs and stop Dad from coming up here.
Michelle: How do I do that?
D.J.: Talk to him. Keep him busy. Do whatever it takes. Now can you do it?
Michelle: I can do it [with a fist]!
[While her sisters move the chest of drawers back to its proper position in Danny's room, Michelle heads downstairs to stall their dad's arrival.]
Danny: [goes in the kitchen] Girls?!
Michelle: Hi, Daddy. [She clutches his leg.]
Danny: Oh! Nice to see you too, sweetheart. Okie-dokie. Hello. [He gets her off his leg, gives her a kiss, and sets her down.]
Michelle: I can do a cheer: 'Go team go!' [Then she does the splits.] Ta-da!
Danny: Well, that's very good, sweetheart.
Michelle: I can say my phone number: 555-2424.
Danny: That's very good too, sweetheart.
Michelle: I can do it with my eyes closed. [She closes her eyes.] 555-2424.
Danny: Well, you'll never top that one, sweetheart. Now I'm gonna go upstairs and see where your sisters are.
Michelle: They're not doing anything wrong.
Danny: Well, that pretty much means they are, doesn't it?
[D.J. and Stephanie make up a song-and-dance on the spot (improvisation) for their dad to wiggle their way out of trouble.]
Both: [singing and snapping their fingers] Dad, dad, dad, dad.
Stephanie: [speaking] Take it, Deej!
D.J.: He's our dad and... he's got a really clean room... [speaking] Take it home, Steph!
Stephanie: And he keeps it that way with a mop and a broom. [speaking] Big finish!
Both: [now with a kickline dance] Dad, dad, dad, dad. He's our dad!
Danny: You know, girls, hearing that beautiful song makes me think that you two are definitely up to something.
Stephanie: [pouting] Does that mean you didn't like our song?
[The older girls dash into their room.]
D.J.: I can't believe we got away with it! We never get away with anything!
Stephanie: That was a little too close. [...] Wasn't that the dumbest song you've ever heard?
Both: [singing] 'Dad, dad, dad, dad...' [continuing until their little sister comes and joins in.]
Stephanie: Michelle, why are you singing? [...] All it does is go 'Dad, dad, dad, dad...'. [after Michelle leaves...] Can you believe her? She wants to do everything I do [an element last seen in "Good News, Bad News"].
D.J.: Gee, do you find it annoying when your little sister always wants to [as she tugs on her similar-looking shirt] copy you?
Stephanie: Oh, I get it. I guess I'm always annoying you.
[So both girls decide to have a heart-to-heart on her bed.]
D.J.: Well, not all the time. ... You saved us with that silly 'dad song'. You were pretty tricky.
Stephanie: I learned it from watching you.
D.J.: I am good, aren't I? Well, in a few years, you're gonna make a pretty cool teenager.
Stephanie: I will?
D.J.: Yep. But until then, do me a favor and stick to being a pretty cool kid.
Stephanie: Do you think I'm a cool kid?
D.J.: Yeah, I think you're a cool kid.
Michelle: [re-enters their room dressed like them] I'm ba-ack. [She walks over and sits with them on Stephanie's bed.] So ladies, what should we do now? [D.J. looks at Stephanie and falls back on the bed with a whimpering/crying sound...]
[Stephanie copies her movements right away as usual, but now Michelle mimics them too.]
- Episode title allusion: The Hole-in-the-Wall Gang was an actual Wild West gang of outlaws in the 1880s and '90s, which took its name from the Hole-in-the-Wall Pass in Wyoming, where they would hide out (That gang is featured in the film Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and in 1988, Paul Newman [one of the stars] founded the non-profit Hole in the Wall Gang Camp)
- The third of four episodes to pick up from where the teaser leaves off; "Viva Las Joey" was the first, "Fuller House" was the second, and "Prom Night" (season 6) was the fourth
- The only episode where D.J. gives Stephanie a variation on both her rules
- The last episode to feature Michelle's "You're in big trouble, mister!"
- The doll that Stephanie accidentally sets off is the same one Michelle combs in the opening sequence
- When Stephanie tells D.J. that Danny "sees us when we're sleeping, he knows when we're awake", it is a reference to a line from "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"
- Joey's remark of Pat Sajak letting Vanna White spin the Wheel on Wheel of Fortune has occurred at least once
- There is an outtake that shows John Stamos goofing up his line regarding the plumbing in the attic three times:
- Take 1: Just as he goofs the line, Bob Saget tries to enter but gets pushed back by John with a hug
- Take 2: He tries to say "plumbing", but messes up
- Take 3: He confuses power lines with water lines