|The King and I|
|Season 5, episode 5|
|Air date||October 15, 1991|
|Writer(s)||Elias Davis & David Pollock|
|Previous||Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Girl Gone?|
|Next||The Legend of Ranger Joe|
An annual Tanner family reunion at Lake Pollock has everyone awaiting their participation in various competitions that will be held during the reunion, such as D.J. and Stephanie in the three-legged race, Joey repeating as pie-eating champ (after Becky beats him in a practice bout), and Michelle and Jesse in the balloon race. Kimmy also tags along, despite not being directly related.
At the same time, a record company tells Jesse that if he can write a song that can be a hit, Jesse and the Rippers will be signed. Writer's block takes its toll on Jesse over the next couple of days and causes him to become increasingly frustrated by his lack of song ideas. He then says, in an angry way, that he can't go to Lake Pollock with the family.
On the road, Danny's boredom cure of singing (see Trivia) doesn't cure them of any boredom, and Michelle wonders if they're at the motel yet, let alone when. Along the way, they encounter a smell, and Becky jumps to conclusions and chalks it up to the fact that it may be a skunk, as they are driving in the woods. However, D.J. notices, and it is not just her "Kimmy problem", it is everyone's. Stephanie, however, has Kimmy problems of her own (see Quotes).
Alone at home, Jesse is still having trouble coming up with a song (see Trivia), so he decides to go to a diner for some coffee. As he sits at the counter, he sits next to a man who happens to look (and sound) a lot like how Elvis Presley would have if he was still alive. After hearing Jesse tell about his troubles, the man helps him realize that he was wrong to lose his temper and snap at the family, and that his obsession with writing a hit song for the hit-hungry record company has made him forget how important his family is to him. Jesse explains that he has twins coming, and his hard work on his music caused him to be hard on the family. He says he wants to be successful. However, the man explains that success is more than just, as a classic proverb says, chasing a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, and says that Jesse has plenty of time to reach that pot of gold. And speaking of gold, he says that the newborns do not care about gold records – or platinum records – or even diamond records. What they do care about is their father taking good care of them and balancing his family and his dreams all at once. As Jesse leaves, he buys the man a meal, and then thanks him. The man then gives him his scarf (similar to what Elvis did in concert) so he can bundle up as it is cold out there.
With a fresh attitude and a whole new perspective, Jesse hops on his motorcycle and tracks down the family to apologize to them and join them at the reunion. He even helps to jump-start their van after it breaks down on the way, and finds the problem to be a loose distributor cap. Everyone indeed forgives him, as does Michelle (see Quotes). He promises to compete in the balloon race with her, which helps a little, but when he boosts her spirits by saying they're going to win the balloon race, she says it helps a lot.
The next day, after they arrive home, Danny polishes the trophy that the family worked so hard to win, saying it was almost a clean sweep, the only loss coming in the pie-eating contest. Before everyone can eat dinner, Jesse invites the family down to the basement for a preview of his new song (called "A Little More Love"), with Jesse not only playing piano but conga drums too. The performance elicits applause from the family.
[Danny, wearing a jogging suit, calls for everyone to hurry into the kitchen.]
Danny: [into a bullhorn] Attention, all family members, please report to the kitchen immediately. [Joey and Becky, who are already there, cover their ears.] Training camp is about to begin. Don't try to make a run for it; I have the house completely surrounded. Move it! Move it! Move it! Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut! [Michelle runs down the kitchen stairs, while the other girls run in through the kitchen door.] Atten-tion!... [The girls don't do anything except look around, puzzled.] As you were. [puts down the bullhorn] God, I love the sound of my own voice.
Joey: [standing up, showing off his muscles, and speaking in a macho voice] I am the world's greatest pie-eater! Nobody can touch me! Aunt Phyllis, if you're out there doing your needlework, know this: I will destroy you!
Michelle: [copying Joey's macho voice] Aunt Phyllis, you're dead meat!
[In the basement studio, Jesse is at the piano, still trying to think of a song.]
Jesse: [singing:] I'm looking... at three-day-old pizza crust [on a plate in front of him]. I'll give it to Joey; he'll eat anything... [pounds the keys].
[The rest of the family, sans Jesse, is preparing for the big day.]
Michelle: [into the bullhorn] Let's go, people! It's picnic time! Move it, move it, move it!
[The older girls emerge from the kitchen, and that elicits an excited look on Danny's face, but the girls' faces suggest otherwise.]
Danny: Oh, I am so proud of you girls. You know, you've mastered the 3-legged walk so well; it's as if you're not tied together.
D.J. & Stephanie: We're not! [They look at each other.] Stop talking when I talk!
[The family sings while on the road (see Trivia), until their boredom cure bores them... again.]
Danny: One more time! [singing] She'll be coming around the mountain...
Everyone else: Ohh!
Michelle: Are we there yet?
Danny: No, honey, we're not at the motel yet.
Michelle: When will be there?
Everyone else: [in unison] When we get there!
Michelle: I was just asking a question. Don't have a cow!
[Let the "Kimmy problems" begin.]
Stephanie: Dad! Kimmy's looking at me!
Kimmy: No, I'm not.
Danny: Kimmy, stop looking at Stephanie.
Michelle: Something stinks!
Becky: Well, we're in the woods, honey. It's probably a skunk.
D.J.: I know that smell... Kimmy, put your shoes back on.
Everyone else: Oh!
Jesse: My problem is my family. They’re driving me nuts, so I blew up at ‘em. See, I finally got a shot at a record deal, but I got to come up with one really great song. And they’re all mad because I’m not going to some stupid picnic.
Guy in Diner: [who looks just like Elvis] A picnic? [thinks for a bit] They got a barbecue there?
Jesse: I guess so.
Jesse: You want to know what my real problem is?
Guy in Diner: Yeah, lay it on me.
Jesse: See, I’ve got twins on the way. And I want them to be proud of their old man, you know? I want to be a success. It’s why I’ve been working so hard. I want them to look up and see platinum records on the wall.
Guy in Diner: Babies don’t care about platinum records. All they care about is if their daddy’s there to love them, if he’s there to hug and kiss them. Shame on you for snapping at your family like that. Over a picnic?
Jesse: I also broke a promise to my 4-year-old niece.
Guy in Diner: I wish you hadn't told me that. You're so busy chasing your pot of gold, you're forgetting what's really important. If you want to be a success then you be a good father, a good husband, a good friend. After that, it's all gravy.
[The family's van has broken down.]
D.J.: I hope they can fix the van.
Stephanie: What if they can't?! What if we're stuck here forever?
Kimmy: In that case, we're bear snacks.
Joey: [opening the hood] Alright, Danny. I think I got it. Give it a try.
Danny: [checking under the hood] Oh, Joey! Alright! We got the hood open! [He shines his flashlight.] Oh, man. No wonder we broke down. It's filthy under here.
[Suddenly, they hear a motorcycle approaching.]
D.J.: We're in big trouble.
Stephanie: Somebody's coming!
Michelle: I hope it's the ice cream man!
[It's Jesse on his motorcycle.]
Danny: Jess, don't be hard on yourself. We know what kind of pressure you've been under.
Michelle: [angrily] No, he doesn't!
Jesse: Come on, Michelle. Don't you forgive your Uncle Jesse?
Michelle: Your name is Uncle Meanie!
Jesse: Still mad at me, huh?
Jesse: Yeah, I deserve a 'Duh!'
- The first episode to use the new intro (with the new shots of the girls, and Kimmy Gibbler's credit knocking out the image of Jesse and Michelle hugging in her now-former room)
- The episode title comes from the Tony Award-winning Broadway musical of the same name (also a 1956 Oscar-winning film starring Yul Brynner) from Rodgers & Hammerstein (but, in this case, "The King" refers to Elvis Presley, who was/is often called "The King of Rock & Roll")
- This is somewhat similar to "Double Trouble", where Jesse is so stressed and sleep deprived that he sees things that aren't there, but in this case he apparently sees someone that looks like Elvis (but it's hinted that it could be the real Elvis – who had faked his death [see Elvis sightings])