|Season 2, episode 8|
|Air date||December 9, 1988|
|Previous||Joey Gets Tough|
|Next||Our Very First Christmas Show|
Danny is overjoyed when he meets a woman in the produce aisle at the supermarket. Her name is Denise, and she and her two friends, Zoey and Cheryl, are invited over to the house so they can meet Jesse and Joey for a triple date there.
While they are getting ready, Danny suggests to D.J. that she, Stephanie and Michelle can go next door over to the Gibblers, but Stephanie shoots that down immediately (see Quotes). D.J. suggests to Danny that she be allowed to babysit Stephanie and Michelle during the date, and he says yes. Stephanie is not pleased with this decision, but D.J. is. And as Stephanie feared, the minute he's out the door, D.J. has indeed gone from his "sweet little angel" to the Wicked Witch (see Quotes).
Jesse is not thrilled that he will be on a blind date, but he agrees to be part of it. In addition, Danny is pondering if he should take his wedding ring off. Jesse says he should, so he reluctantly does so, and leaves it on his desk.
While D.J. babysits Stephanie, she turns Stephanie into her servant, from refreshments to slippers (see Quotes).
When the women arrive, Joey is paired with Zoey and Jesse with Cheryl. Problems arise because Zoey is not really amused with Joey's jokes or voice impressions, Cheryl is not exactly thrilled with Jesse, and Denise turns out to be Jesse's ex-girlfriend, who still has feelings for him. That has Danny wondering if there could possibly be a woman in San Francisco that Jesse has not dated before. Denise is still hung up on Jesse, and she can't get her mind off of him because she thinks that she and Jesse have an opportunity to get back together. However, a talk with Jesse has Denise coming to her senses.
Meanwhile, Stephanie and Michelle dress up like Danny, wearing his clothes and jewelry. D.J. stops them in the bathroom upstairs, and while taking his watch and wedding ring from Stephanie, she accidentally drops the ring down the sink's drain (eliciting an "OH!" from the studio audience).
Stephanie returns from putting Michelle in bed, at which point D.J. has an idea. Unfortunately, her plan A does not work, so Stephanie decides to call it a night, but her babysitter stops her dead in her tracks and asks her to help implement plan B. But that too is an "epic fail", so Stephanie then suggests they get into their bathing suits, but D.J. doesn't have time for sinking or swimming.
Jesse turns the water valve off. Joey gets Danny's tie out of the drain with D.J.'s gum stuck to it and stretching, too. Denise and the guys help the girls get the ring back. Then, Danny and D.J. have a quick talk in his room.
Afterwards, Danny finds that he and Zoey have something in common: they both love a clean bathroom. As they part ways, they remind each other to pre-soak their fine washables in tepid water. The guys reflect on the night's events, with Danny promising to clean the bathroom, Joey to catch his blind date, and Jesse just makes sobbing sounds as he heads upstairs (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear).
[The opening teaser: Stephanie rides her tricycle in the living room ringing the bell. As she gets to where Michelle is sitting...]
Michelle: [puts her palms out] Stop.
Stephanie: Where you headed, toots?
Stephanie: Kitchen? Hop on. [Michelle stands on the back and holds on to her. And off they go.] That'll be 50¢, please.
[In D.J. & Stephanie's bedroom...]
Danny: ...And I thought while Uncle Jesse, Joey and I are having our dinner party, you girls could stay with the Gibblers.
Stephanie: I hate going there. All they do is watch the Home Shopping Network.
D.J.: Dad, why don't you let me babysit? It's the perfect job for me.
Danny: D.J., babysitting is a big responsibility. But since I will be right downstairs, I suppose we can give it a try. Steph, you mind your big sister.
Stephanie: You can't put D.J. in charge of me.
Danny: Why not?
Stephanie: Because when you're around, she's a sweet little angel. The minute you leave, it's, 'l'll get you, my pretty.'
D.J.: [petting her sister on the head] Isn't she precious? Dad, don't worry. I'm ready for the responsibility, I'm ready to be in charge, and I'm ready for $3 an hour.
Danny: You want me to pay you $3 an hour to stay at home and spend an evening with your little sisters?
D.J.: Good point. $3.50.
Danny: Deal. [As he walks out the room...] Why do I feel like I'm raising a used-car salesman?
D.J.: [imitating the Wicked Witch of the West to Stephanie] I'll get you, my pretty. And your little bear (Mr. Bear), too [with the cackle].
[In D.J. & Stephanie's bedroom...]
D.J.: [on the phone] Kimmy, this babysitting job is such a piece of cake. I get paid $2.50 an hour for watching TV and having Stephanie wait on me hand and foot.
Stephanie: Okay, here's your popcorn, your soda, TV Guide, extra napkins and salt.
D.J.: Thank you. Will you get my slippers for me, please?
Stephanie: Now the queen wants her slippers. We have to keep Her Majesty happy. [She gets them out of their closet.] Slippers.
D.J.: Aren't you gonna put them on me?
Stephanie: I'm not touching your cootie feet!
[In the bathroom, Stephanie and Michelle are dressed in Danny's clothes, from a tie and suit to a sweater and cap.]
Stephanie: Come on, Michelle. Follow me. Who do we look like, Michelle?
Stephanie: Now we're gonna smell like Daddy. [She reaches up to the mirror to get his cologne, but their babysitter stops them dead in their tracks.]
D.J.: Freeze, nerd-bombers! What are you doing dressed in Dad's stuff?
Stephanie: I tried to stop her. Shame on you, Michelle.
D.J.: I can't take my eye off you children for a minute! Okay, now, take all Dad's stuff off now!
Stephanie: Okay, don't have a hissy fit.
D.J.: Hey, that's Dad's watch! [She takes it from her.] And his wedding ring! [And takes that from her.] I'm in charge, and I say you're both in really big trouble. [As she goes to put the items on the ledge of the sink, the ring slips and...] Dad's wedding ring went down the drain!
[After the break...]
Stephanie: Okay, Michelle's in bed. Did you get Daddy's wedding ring out of the drain yet?
D.J.: [chewing gum] No, but I got a plan. [takes the gum out of her mouth and...] If I stick this gum to the end of a tie, I'll just stuff the tie down the drain and when the ring sticks to the gum, I'll pull it up and 'voila'.
Stephanie: You're gonna ruin Dad's tie.
D.J.: The ring is more important than the tie. You're so dumb.
Stephanie: I'm dumb? Who knocked the ring down the drain, Miss Rocket Scientist?
D.J.: Okay, wait. I think I got it. Oh, no. It's stuck!
Stephanie: Well, I'd say the day's about shot. Good night. [She tries to leave, but her babysitter stops her again.]
D.J.: Freeze. I have to take this sink apart, and you have to help me get Dad's toolbox.
Stephanie: If I help you, will you let me stay up late and do whatever I want?
D.J.: Sure, why not? I'll never be in charge again.
[The girls have just disconnected every pipe of the bathroom sink and water starts shooting out.]
D.J.: Did you catch the ring?
Stephanie: Did I catch the ring? Do I look like I caught the ring?
D.J.: Do you know how to turn this off?
Stephanie: Another stupid question.
D.J.: Well, get me something to catch the water in!
Stephanie: Got it. [She grabs the small wastebasket.] Here.
D.J.: [putting it where the water stream is] Great. It's working – but it's filling up fast. Get me something bigger.
Stephanie: Got it.
D.J.: This is worth more than $2.50 an hour.
Stephanie: Here's a big bowl.
D.J.: It's full of popcorn. [So Stephanie starts to eat it up.] Stephanie, just throw it away. [And she dumps the popcorn, and D.J. dumps her water in the now-empty bowl.]
Stephanie: Now what?
D.J.: Just get rid of the water. [She dumps it back down the drain.]
Stephanie: I did it. [Cut to the disconnected pipes, as her water comes out the other pipe.]
D.J.: You did nothing.
[When the water starts coming downstairs, the guys and their dates rush upstairs to see what's going on, as the girls dump the water into the bathtub.]
D.J.: Dad, everything is under control.
Danny: Everything's under control?! Everything's underwater!
[But Jesse has a solution...]
D.J.: Yay! How'd you do that?
Jesse: I just turned the water valve off, girls.
Stephanie: Let's remember that for next time.
Joey: [pulling up the tie – with a long stretch of gum] You kids have been watching too much Double Dare [see Trivia].
Stephanie: Don't look at me. She's the babysitter.
D.J.: Dad, I'm really sorry. I accidentally dropped your wedding ring down the drain.
Danny: My wedding ring. All right, everybody out of the pool.
[In Danny's bedroom...]
D.J.: I felt so bad about losing your ring. I know I should've come to you in the first place, but I panicked. I learned a good lesson in responsibility.
Danny: Well, okay. Don't let it happen again.
D.J.: Wait a minute. 'Don't let it happen again'? That's the worst dad speech I've ever heard.
- "I'll get you, my pretty...!" is a reference to the line from The Wizard of Oz: "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!", spoken by the Wicked Witch of the West to Dorothy (it is #99 on AFI's 100 Years...100 Movie Quotes)
- Although there have been a few different TV series titled Double Dare, Joey is referring to Double Dare (Nickelodeon game show)
- An outtake from this episode features the scene with Stephanie telling Danny not to put D.J. in charge of her; however, before she (Jodie Sweetin) can even complete her line, a hiccup in the background causes her and everyone on-set to laugh